I really wish I could just invite you over for coffee and commiseration right now. I can relate to practically everything you wrote, minus the dream. Being the repressed peacemaker, crying when full of emotion (OMG I HATE IT), feeling taken advantage of, worrying how people will take it if you're more honest and upfront. All of it.

Maybe you're supposed to combine the best of both the fox and bear? I'd say being the fox means setting boundaries, and being the bear means sticking to them? And you feel relief at shooting the fox because creating boundaries is uncomfortable, but the bear is frustrated over not having a reason to show its strength? Who am I to interpret somebody else's dream when I don't even have all the details--that's just my two cents from the outside perspective.

I pray you find the meaning you seek, and get peace from it :) (((hugs)))