Hey Steemians 😉
Let's discuss this interesting topic about "boasting" and "bragging" and how it can actually affects you and changes your life.
“Seek and see all the marvels around you. You will get tired of looking at yourself alone, and that fatigue will make you deaf and blind to everything else. - Don Juan”
Certain actions and actions can build an insurmountable barrier to achieving personal goals. And you should know about them.
What are these actions and why do they prevent us from carrying out what we have begun to the end?
Did you get into an embarrassing situation when you were asked: "How is the project you were talking about?", While the interest in this project has long disappeared? There is no motivation. I do not want to do anything. And friends are interested in how things are going.
If you are familiar with this situation, then we speak the same language. With me it happened a thousand times!
For example, a few years ago I told everyone that I was going to blog about life and health. After that, the desire to write completely disappeared. Or he promised the readers the continuation of the story, which they liked, but something prevented me from translating my promise into reality.
Disclosure of personal goals kills motivation to achieve them.
But what motivates us when we share our plans for the future? And, most importantly, WHY is the praise of unfinished business destroying motivation? Let's talk about this.
I want you to take a very close look at this post. It will help you avoid the common mistake that people make and keep their motivation.
“Think about it: what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.”
Carlos Castaneda, Fire from Within
Desire to receive recognition and approval from people around you.
The desire to gain recognition and approval pushes people to achieve their personal goals: write a book, become a great boss, open their own business, become famous and become famous.
I will not hide it. In most cases, I'm also motivated by the desire to surprise others and get recognition. I want people to praise and appreciate me positively through the result of my work.
As soon as I finish a new musical composition or a fresh story, I immediately want to show the result to my friends.
But it happened that I showed unfinished projects. Gave to listen to unfinished music, show unfinished stories or demonstrate an unfinished computer game. At these times I wanted to be praised and said: "Cool, well done! We look forward to continuing! ". I wanted reinforcements with a positive response until the end of the case, in the hope that this would spur me to work, but ...
Because, to achieve the goal, I'm pushed by an unconscious desire to surprise others. Suppose I showed a "raw" project and, thus, surprised friends. Everything, the goal is achieved. If I show a completed project, I will not surprise anyone. I became predictable. What is the point of bringing the matter to an end, if nothing new I show?
This is one of the reasons for losing the motivation of a person who before time reveals his cards.
Agree, real enthusiasm and respect is caused by the work of people who silently did their masterpiece. For example, every day you communicate with a friend on a variety of topics, and then it turns out that all this time he wrote his novel. And now the romance is over. He publishes it and the people around him are surprised: "Wow! And all this time you were silent ?! Well done, surprised so surprised ... "
Features of the brain.
Once scientists made an amazing discovery: the brain practically does not distinguish physical movements from imaginary ones. When a person visualizes the movements of the body, his motor cortex is activated, as if he were really moving!
The same effect is observed when a person "scrolls" a melody in his head. Despite the fact that it is in complete silence, the encephalograph shows the activity of the brain zones responsible for real listening to music.
Let's say your goal is to make a personal website and fill it with interesting material. The website is not ready yet. It is only in the project. If you start telling everyone about the site in a row, the zones corresponding to getting satisfaction from the completed case are activated in the brain.
For the brain there is no difference, you tell about a completed project or just share plans for the future. He perceives it as if the goal has already been achieved. And what for to strain to do a site if it is already "ready"?
Just want to make a reservation. There is a big difference between visualizing the final goal and publicly announcing your intentions. In the first case, you program the mind and subconscious mind to perform the task and give a clear picture of the destination. In the second, you share with your friends an already accomplished fact - that's how our brain perceives it.
Intentionally visualize the ultimate goal is necessary in order to really achieve it. Who does not know the final point of the movement, he will never reach it.
Vanity is a powerful driving force
Let's say you have an idea for a new business. As soon as we thought about the ultimate goal, immediately there is a special emotion - the desire to translate the idea into reality. In the framework of this article, for simplicity, let's call this emotion a special type of energy - the energy of motivation.
The energy of motivation is allocated by the resources of the organism upon request. As soon as we wanted to reach the goal, the necessary amount of energy appears to realize it. To achieve the desired result, we need to use one hundred percent of the allocated energy. Not less.
The energy of motivation is the fuel that the body has filled the tanks to get to the destination. It is necessary for specific physical and mental actions.
But how do we manage it? The desire to achieve the goal, sometimes, is how burning, that we certainly want to share the intention with others. We want to see surprise and admiration in the eyes of those with whom we share. We hasten to tell about our plans as soon as possible.
And what is the result? Fleeting satisfaction. How often do you manage to rise in the eyes of your friends by telling them about things that do not already exist? Hardly anyone praises you.
It is very easy to dissipate the energy of motivation!
So, initially we have 100% of the required motivation energy. We came to a friend John and told him that we were going to open an unusual online store. Take away 10% of the allocated fuel. Now you have come to Comrade Bill and described to him in every detail your idea. Take another 10%, or better all 20%. Then you told your colleagues that you are going to devote your free time to a new idea. Subtract another 20%. Tell your friend Jessica? Do the calculations again.
How much percent of fuel motivation remains in the end? thirty? 5? -60?
The fact is that we need all 100%! Otherwise, we will not reach the final destination. We simply do not have enough "gasoline". But what if you have already spent half the fuel? Then you feel a loss of interest. You stopped halfway. Now you either give up the goal, or wait, and accumulate fuel again. Sad, given the fact that you have already told your friends about your desire to finish this damn online store.
Grind your teeth and put water in your mouth! Let the desire to boast pushes you forward! It is it that adds oil to the fire. If you want the people around you to see your masterpiece, be silent! Then you will do everything possible to make this really happen as soon as possible.
Be silent as partisans during the Second World War. These are your trump cards. Stop splashing in vain for precious fuel. Communicate with friends, as if nothing had happened, as if you have nothing to tell them. Actually, in fact, so it is!
Keep unpredictability for others until you finish the job. If you break this rule, you will no longer want to move towards the goal, because you have uncovered your cards and become predictable. Bringing the case to the end will not surprise anyone.
The brain does not feel the difference whether you share real achievements or your plans for the future. When you tell about the ultimate goal, the brain automatically puts a tick "goal is achieved." Proved by scientists, verified by electronics.
Do not confuse intentional visualization of the ultimate goal and public statement about your goals. These are two different things. Intentional visualization can and should be used in everyday life. It gives commands to our subconscious, and it, in turn, necessarily finds ways for realization of the conceived.
When we set a goal for ourselves, the necessary amount of fuel is allocated to achieve it. This fuel is so powerful that it strives to realize itself in any accessible way. Do not let it be realized only in conversations with others.