When the primal in us takes over

15 years...15 years of fighting, compromise, give and take, of rejection and acceptance. 15 years of hurt and loyalty. 15 yrs of loving someone and trying to find out who you are...
what your needs are, your wants, your disires. you battle it all together and seperate. what is to much? What is the breaking point?

He is loving ,caring,patient...he is giving and listens, he asks and listens. he is selfless, he is quiet and kind....he want to have experience and know the world, he has fanticies, disires, curiosities and needs....he is only 18...but mature and wide beyond his years....

....then he met you...and he knew, he knew right away that all his want, his disires, all his experiences he wanted with you....
unconditionaly he loved you, he saw you when you didn't see yourself.

you brought baggage, that he carried and endored, still you doubted. he put up with jealousy, fear, rage, unassurance, low self image, little confidence, constant worry and anxiety....he stayed, loved and put aside what he wanted and needed to assure you that his love was true...

what did you give him? You stole 15 years of living, experimenting, and life with put drama. Your jealousy, your fear of losing him has robbed him. he has so much passion, he is such an intense lover and giver...you have held him back..and what you could have had together (which is all he wanted so many years ago) he now wants with out you.

He finds exitement, passion, fun and happiness with others online( maybe even face to face) he is aroused, and a light surrounds him again....
.....a light you put out long ago.

He cares for you, even loves you. for that's who he is, that's his being....

.....he no longer disires you, he does not see you as he did.. Your touch makes him jump, your words make him wince...he has fallen out of love with you.

is it to late? has to much d damage been done? Can you show him? will he see?

no now is his long over due time...his time to have, to be, to live. to experiance, to be uninhibited, to be happy.

15 years of ups and downs....

He has his online girls who make him happy and make him hard. who give him his smile back. I'm happy for him. I hope he will find someone who makes him hard with passion, stays hard with lust and finished him of. leaving him satisfied.