Love is evil ...

Hello! I need your advice. Let's start by order, when I fell in love with me was 13 years old, I went to school, he was two years older than me. How did we just look, do not count on each other, before that I did not even notice him, we stared at each other friend every day for two years. We did not even get acquainted, but I found out everything about him, we graduated from school, we had a graduation one year, and ran away, but I could not forget it, we went to the disco, and these showbooks went on)) I was afraid to go get acquainted and he did not fit, it was time, I punched his phone number, called him, he asked me to meet, but I was very shy, and refused, but when I thought better of it, and she corrected about the meeting herself, he already found himself a girl, a few years, I got a job as a waitress in a cafe, I loved him so far, and it so happened that he I went to this cafe, I served it, and again we started eating each other's eyes, but in the working bustle, I did not have time to talk to him, and he left. A few more years passed, I also loved him, but I started to meet a guy and became pregnant, we got married, but I could not forget my first love, later I found out that he was married, we communicate with him through the social network, I love him very much, I told him about it, he said that you should not raise this topic, we just talk very rarely, but when he writes to me, my heart contracts ... What should I do ??? I have never loved anyone like him, I can not forget him for 11 years, all this time I thought that everything would pass, the first love all the same. I'm confused…