I lost a child

I ask those who have experienced the same to respond. I read the topics on the forum that deal with the death of children. I thought, if I can say it, it will be easier.

2 months ago, my child died 2 hours after giving birth. I still do not understand why. Not that I was so important, because this knowledge will not return it to me. Of course, it is terrible for the next pregnancy, especially since this pregnancy was going well for me, there were no special problems. I do not think that this will happen again, but I can imagine what these 9 months of waiting will turn into. And I'm scared ...
But now I want to talk about something else.

Survived this horror, tell us - how did your husbands react? So it turns out that I do not feel support from my own. Do not think that he is a bad person - this is completely wrong. And he loves me very much. BUT ... It's not enough for me. Only 2 months have passed, I try to keep myself in hand. I went to work, because I can not sit at home. Probably, from the outside I seem almost stone. But inside ... it can not be described in words. My grief breaks only at home, when there is no longer any strength to restrain myself. I cry, and my husband responds to this saying that I need to go to a psychologist. I do not think it's crazy to cry 2 months after the death of my son. I just need to have a close friend who would support me. All his words that I need to forget everything as soon as I need to live on, that we will have children ... I do not need such words from him - I need something else. And he says like an outsider who is very, very sympathetic to me, but that this grief does not concern. At least I think so.

Is it really only MY grief? I understand that this is for me the child lived 9 months, but for him he was just not born. I try to explain to him, but still I do not see in his words the support that I need. For this I am terribly angry with him, we constantly swear.

I beg you - do not have sympathetic words. I believe that you are empathizing with me. But I ask those who have experienced this to answer. How did you survive it? ..