Pizza Delivery at the Las Vegas Emergency Room Triage

My girlfriend was a physician’s assistant otherwise known as a “PA” in the emergency room at Valley Hospital here in Las Vegas. No longer a Dice Dealer, having exited the Gaming business due to altercations with the IRS, I was working two jobs: paralegal by day and Pizza Delivery by night.

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The Triage nurses and my PA girlfriend were fond of the pizza I delivered. There were many customers that were fond of the pizza I delivered. Some of them ate my pizza 7 days a week.  One guy saved all of the pizza boxes and empty two liter bottles and lined the walls of his apartment with them.  To the ceiling. 

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I always had to wade through the emergency room entrance for ambulances and clear myself through security to deliver the pizza to the Triage area. Sometimes I was really held up when newbie police or new doctors or others in authority needed to okay me to deliver.

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Sandy,  my girl came up with an idea. There was an outside entrance where I only had to pass through one room before coming into the Triage from the back way. All I needed was the code to get in the door. So who did we go to for that? The Janitor, of course. 

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Well, that was the answer. I was in the Triage without any obstacles and the pizza was hot. I would make the Triage my last stop so I could stick around and observe my girl stitching up patients using that “leave no scar” method that that she believed she invented. I had delivered six months’ worth of pizzas to the Triage when it dawned on me to ask a few questions about the room I passed through to get to the Triage.

You see, my girl Sandy gave me certain directions regarding the various patients I may encounter in what she called the CR room. Way back when I first used the coded entrance, she told me to be extra quiet when using that entrance so as not to disturb anyone. The room was always dark when I came in, the only light coming from the open coded entryway as I came in. I would pull the door shut as quickly as possible so as not to disturb whoever was in there. And more likely than not there were always six or seven people in the room.

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I noticed that the people were always sleeping. It appeared that they were sedated. Some slept with the blankets tucked up to the middle of their chest, hands folded on their lower torso. Some were lying on their sides with their arms holding down their bed sheets and blanket. All of them had the head of their hospital beds elevated. My real question was, for the one’s sleeping with their mouths open, how do they keep from getting dry mouth? Also, how come I sometimes see a nurse or two napping on a gurney in the same room?

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That’s when she asked me if I knew what CR Room meant. I said no and she said “It means Celestial Recall Room”. I said “Okay, I don’t get it.” She said “Those people died and they are waiting for the morgue to pick them up.” She said “They are treated as if they are alive because the hospital does not have to do the paper work if the MORGUE declares them dead.” She laughed hysterically at the look on my face.

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I couldn’t believe it. In the meantime, as time went on I became more and more suspicious of her and what I considered to be her cavalier attitude towards death. She wound up becoming what I like to call a “Strange Agent”.

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