Porn Never Felt Like A Real "JOB"

After my first AVN Awards in Las Vegas, I came back with lots of new ideas about my "career" in the porn industry. I'd been in the biz for 3 or so years by then and I had firmly established myself in the euro-porn scene. However with all the fresh attention from the US, I had some big decisions ahead. Was I actually ready to commit to being a porn dude?

Summer porn parties in Europe sure were fun times!

Looking back, I remember so many people were surprised I had never come in the US before. They all told me this and that about how well I could do out there and how they would love to work with me. For some reason, probably to do with my friends above, I didn't feel massively inspired to move. I was quite happy taking it easy in my own lane.

Shooting in Antigua with Jana, Cayenne & Blue Angel

Europe was so good to me. I stayed busy, made plenty of friends and shared amazing memories. It was a great time and the cash was a bonus. Sure I traveled a lot between London, Prague and Budapest back then and I didn't care, I loved being flown around. Performing in porn never felt like a real "job", I was simply living life and having fun.

I've wondered if perhaps at the time I felt life was too easy? I mean where I'm from and how my life had been coming up, I was supposed to be in the struggle. It took me a long time to deprogram and let go of that way of thinking. Over the years anytime I found myself in a sweet spot, I'd immediately fear it wouldn't last and start looking for what's next. That was in life and love, and sure enough there was always something or someone new and exciting to keep me moving.

Club Sandy and I loved each other from the start, how could I leave her?

So I didn't jump on the idea of America for a while. It just played on my mind and challenged me to review my life and up my game. For months I got emails inviting me back to the states and I kept myself booked so I always had an excuse not to go. Life simply rolled on and the more I waited the more reasons I made not to chase my "American Dream".

I wouldn't change any of my life choices, they've made me the man I am. I've never been happier or more in love, every single moment with Jamie and Kai is a blessing. So when I look back through these vlogs, it just reminds me of a time when I could have quite easily settled and never reached for more.. and I'd definitely regret not knowing what I do now.

Good times with my first Czech friends Natalli & Sharka

Thanks for reading and for any upvotes and follows. I've no idea what I will write each day, so I'll just keep going through these old vlogs and tell my story as we go. I hope you enjoyed reading these memoirs I guess, as I feel it's doing something good for me too.

Wholeness.

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