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RE: Unproven Chapter Thirty Two "It's a Big Bad World Out There"

in #story6 years ago

I don't know if I'm just all emotional because of Ed's song but I felt like this chapter was just perfect. My favorite for the entire story so far! The contrast between the start and the end was executed so well. I love the pacing and the introspection on Ary's part. I feel like Ary-focused chapters are the strong points of the story. She's so innocent and wide-eyed. I like it when the story centers on the villain just side-by-side with the protagonist being all civil. It adds that level of intrigue that couldn't be captured when they're away from each other. Magnificent work, sis!

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I was itching to write a reply to your comment on my brother's post, but I want him to be first, lol. Just more proof you and I are connected!
Anyway. I love that this is your favorite so far. That I captured Ary exactly as I intended. Or more to the point, I captured a memory of a girl at that age, who walked side by side with a villain :) Thank you so much, my beautiful spiritual brother!

Oh sis I can't even... my eyes are too tired! Hahaha! It's so sore right now. Li's half-laughing, half-I don't know aww-ing? It's the age! Well, and everything else. But that age bit got to me. If it was entitled 25 or 32 or even 28, I think I would've been fine, but of all the ages Ed could've picked, he just had to pick mine!

Definitely! Ary's vulnerable right now, and arguably at her best as a character. She's so fragile but she's trying her best to keep everything together. I think this is her edge compared to Anna. While the latter has shown glimpses of it, she needed her powers to make it stick. Ary doesn't have that luxury, yet she's relying on her weakness to tide her over. The dynamic with Grayson definitely helped as well. While Jared has that anti-hero quality, he's still not a straight-up villain plotting against Anna.

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