RE: The Allies of Old; Book Two Renewal: Chapter Seventy Six "Can't Shake This"
Initially, I'm all for Mathias/Jenna, but I don't know.. I feel that the sooner they join with the group, the better. I can't pinpoint exactly which part it turned for me, but I feel like their solo chapters were overplayed a bit. Gaaahh I really want to pinpoint the exact reason, I just can't seem to think of it now. Maybe during rewrites, you can reduce their buildup by 25%. I don't know what kind of effect it would have, but I'm thinking the saturation plays a factor.
There are a lot of pieces on the board, and 95% of them play on the same team. Perhaps if you could use the other scenes to build up potential baddies, it would be more productive. Right now it's faceless demons, Terrina's righthand woman, Tyros (maybe?), and Demetrius and his faceless army. Maybe tipping the scales a bit would make Mathias/Jenna feel less played out.
I'm kind of wishing the Brothers Three played a more prominent role. It seems they have taken a back seat ever since they joined Michael's Jared's forces. I'm also on the fence about the possibility of Jess reverting back to old ways when Jenna comes back. The character work on her is by far my favorite of the series, aside from Tyros. It would be a shame if it would be for naught. The best thing about this chapter for me is how it cements Michael's beta status bwahaha! I have been preaching it for a long time now, and he finally learns his place.
Again, I'm just throwing out suggestions. I fully trust your process, so whatever you think works, I'm all for it. 100% Team Dreemit :D
You'll have to suffer one more chapter of Matt/Jenn before they rejoin the group ;) Basically--you are definitely going to be a much bigger fan of book three based on the things you say. I don't want to do spoilers, but there is a LOT more bad guy scenes and development lol. I've said this before, but there are some definite drawbacks to publishing a book chapter by chapter over a long period. There are also great things about it like you said, but the number one drawback is that if you were to read the entire book in a week or two, you wouldn't feel like the parts you're referring to were nearly as encompassing as they seem.
I'm not sure if it's just the frequency of the posts. I normally don't binge read, so I don't think the reading pace dictates it. The number of whole chapters dedicated to them is just too much for me. I feel like they could be condensed even tighter to make room for other characters to grow. But, that's just me. I fully trust your process with this. I'm sure you'll steer the ship in the right course. Look at me doling advice when I can't even get 10 people to comment or get the votes up above $10 for my own posts haha!