RE: The Allies of Old; Book Two Renewal: Chapter Fifty Four "Viva Las Vegas!"
I'm happy Jess had it better than Anna did. While this sounds like another Anti-Anna comment, this is purely a Pro-Jess one :D Being the one always put in the wayside, I could totally relate to her wanting to stretch her legs now that she has tons of legroom. I really like how this is sort of the sequel to the Fear and Loathing chapter.
Where did her confidence suddenly come from though? I'm sure having a secret identity worked to her advantage. It kind of gave her a blank slate to be anyone she wanted. I'm glad she realized the opportunity that presented itself. It's so awesome how she's taking advantage of it. I'm sure she's going to transition back to her "restored memories" and have the Brothers Three still have her back. Things are coming up Jess these days!
As much as I enjoy her side, I feel it's time to rejoin the main story. It's great to read about her journey coming full circle, but I hope it doesn't get stretched too much. The whole pacing of this chapter was already well-written, so extending it further might be too much icing. Great work with this!
For once I think you will enjoy how I do this, and no, it's not too much stretching :) A bit of "it's a small world" comes to mind.
Haha! Oh please don't take my critiques harshly or some sort of rant. I don't normally read long series (except for Dune) and this is perhaps the only other long series I've read so religiously, so I feel like I'm invested in the story. As someone who has never missed a chapter (you can check it, but I bet I'm the only one who has commented on every chapter) I feel so entrenched in the story and I want it to be the best possible version of itself.
But hey, don't take my advice haha! After all, I'm the one with the exponentially dwindling readership haha!