Emma's Story
Third upgrade…
Shalom chaverim, this might seem weird but what I really want to tell you that recently, less than two years ago I just had my third major upgrade as a disciple… I define the first upgrade as becoming a disciple, accepting salvation and wanting to learn how to love and help others.
Maybe you would like me to use the expression that I have been born again, again and again. That expression is a bit bold, so even if you do not like it, I hope you let me tell this story anyway.
I was born in an academic town in northern Sweden and I spent my first five and a half years in a block where many of the adults/parents where still students and many were from other countries, many from Finland. When I was five, I wondered why Finnish wasn’t taught to us children. I had observed that speaking Finnish was healthy for humans and enjoyed by many of the adult neighbours I knew and trusted. Some adults, however, used to say that Finnish was a difficult language. I knew that was not true because I had heard children speaking Finnish in Finland and on the ferry, and wondered what kind of trauma can cause loving adults to repeat such a lie.
When my father had completed his studies, he became a teacher and we moved 1000 kilometres to the south. He chose his new job so that we could live closer to our relatives on my mother’s side. My father quickly made a new friend from Italy in our new town of residence, as they were both far away from their childhood homes. My father grew up even further to the north.
I was eleven when I came to faith. I and my brother, my closest sibling by age, had been free to walk on our own to all Christian activities for children we liked and we probably had a lot of persons praying for us. We also have two younger sisters born in southern Sweden. For me, one last step was reading the fantasy book “Never-ending story” by Michael Ended and reflecting on the message of the book. I read it in Swedish; it was originally written in German.
As an adult I moved back to Sweden, using university as my excuse. I naturally longed to go back and I was curious to see how I could reconnect to my memories. At that time, I had just realized that I needed a fellowship with believers of all ages. I quickly found a Lutheran congregation close to my new home. I felt guided to spend some time there and be a good member. It was there that I meet my future husband and I also heard Finnish in the services 2-3 times a year. When I was 20, the Spirit started to call me to learn Finnish. I protested and argued that it was too late. Now, I am a grown-up, engaged Swedish woman. God, is it really you telling me this?
I fussed so much with God alone without even mentioning the idea about Finnish to any human, not even my boyfriend. I even went to Spain as an exchange student for one term. I didn’t like the climate of Spain so afterward, I chose to go to the Peatlands as my specialty is in Ecology, to keep me working in a cooler climate.
My second upgrade I count from when I finally accepted to study Finnish. It was at a class of Wetland Ecology where I saw the sign which God had promised to give me in our secret discussions. The class was given by a professor, raised in Wisconsin but who also later in life gained citizenship in Canada. He surprised our tiny group by recommending a scientific journal in Finnish, with only some abstracts in English. The journal’s name was SUO. “Suo” means “peatland”. Finland in Finnish is “Suomi”. My teacher jokingly said, “Finland has the largest proportion of Peatland experts per capita; they have all gone crazy.” I thought to myself: “We are not crazy, maybe just patriotic. Is there anything wrong with that.”? I was Finnish enough, and I had an alibi (science) and some sure allies, those experts my teacher just told me about.
18 years later I saw my next upgrade approaching, I had to fight for it and the fight was in two stages. I was surrounded by the enemy while doing my trainee job in a kitchen as usual. The Spirit just whispered in the mornings: “Stay awake.” The enemy showed me ridiculous and unnecessary illusions mostly about a good comrade from my time in High School. What I needed to say was: “I do not want another believer as an idol, I can read the Bible for myself, nor do I want to be adored for anything, not even for the little therapy of learning Finnish.
My third upgrade came maybe 6-7 weeks later when I decided to learn Hebrew. Now I am a toddler again, and a veteran, a veteran toddler. I also have the perfect alibi; I just look like a language nerd, learning one advanced language after another. But this time I do not want an alibi or an excuse. I rather want people to see the truth which is that I love Yeshua. Nowadays I do not want science anymore. I have learned how to study even without a university. I just want a calm half-time job with cooking, translating or even just reading and typing. In my free time, I want to continue with my studies, so you can pray for me that I get the right job.
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