Smart woman. It seems you're on your spiritual journey. You definitely need to check out my UNplugged Radio series...very conscious talk, especially our first episode. "Unplugging from the Matrix". What's your zodiac if you don't mind? That part where you speak of the spirit in asense putting itself through experiences and finding itself in the same situations because of the inability to change...really inability to control the ego. I want you to download this book ASAP. It will change your life.

http://www.law-of-attraction-haven.com/support-files/the-power-of-awareness-neville-goddard.pdf