'Your Story' - Steemit Story Chain #20 Where You Write the Story and 100 Whaleshares for the Winner

in #story6 years ago (edited)

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Welcome to the Steemit Story Chain

Good afternoon to all you Steemers! It's time for another Steemit Story Chain where I usually invite you guys to continue writing a story I start. Last week I did something a little different though as I got you to also write the first part of the story so you had total control over it. I am pleased to say it went very well and I shall be doing the same again this week. So instead of me starting the story you will.

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who participated in last week's story chain, I have to say having run this contest for almost five months now the quality of writing in last week's story chain was the best I have witnessed yet. There were some outstanding pieces and we clearly have some very talented writers within the Steemit community. However, where the quality of writing was hugely impressive the narrative was lacking, the story development didn't take us that far. I would like to say a big thank you to @tenebrisplay, @byn, @sunnyali, @magicmage, @citizenzero and @ayamohammed. You all contributed some great writing. After an intense deliberation I have now determined a winner.

@citizenzero

You write with a firmness and eloquence which made the piece really stand out. The dream like sequence which became more bizarre as the principal character awoke in the hospital was written in great detail helping to vividly illuminate the scene in my mind. And the introduction of the shadowy character at the end of the part added a nice sinister piece of narrative.

You have won 100 Whaleshares. Please reply with your Bitshares account information and I will send the Whaleshares to your account immediately. Enjoy! If you don't have an account don't worry it's very simple and completely free to set one up here - https://bitshares.openledger.info/?r=akrid-1.

A reminder of the winning part is detailed below:

Part 4:

From the depth of unconsciousness I swam toward the surface struggling for a breath. It seemed far above me and I feared I would gasp in the foul waters of the deep long before I got there. I did gasp, but I didn’t drown. My eyes opened once again upon the world.

A green sky hovered above, a glowing incandescence. The sound of a gurgling brook and the strange, pulsating whistle pushed its way into my head. I couldn’t smell the earth or the sweetness of the long grass. My nostrils filled instead with the sharp scent of alcohol and disinfectant. I felt cool and comfortable and extremely calm. Where was I?

“Anna?” I tried to speak and almost choked. I bit down and felt the rubbery resistance of a tube running down my throat. To my left was a metal tower supporting a bottle filled with pink liquid and a tube that wound its way down and into my arm.

Hospital. I’m in a hospital! With great effort I turned my head to face the strange sounds. As I suspected, I saw the electronic monitor and the wires connected to my body. But something wasn’t quite right. It didn’t look like any vitals monitor I’d ever seen before. Instead of the spiky sine wave indicating my cardiac function, a prismatic bar pulsed through a select spectrum of color. The numbers that should have indicated my pulse rate and other parameters were as unintelligible to me as Sanskrit. What was wrong with me? If this was a hospital room it was like no other I’d ever seen before.

I felt no pain, but my body sensations were fully alive, fully awake. The bed was so comfortable, almost too comfortable. I felt I was floating yet a slight downward press with my arm met resistance without the softness of a sheet, only pressure. I moved my legs and arms as much as I could, but they felt strapped down, as did my head. I wiggled my fingers and toes. Without seeing them I knew they moved. Nothing broken, nothing missing.

From what I could see, my room had no corners, only rounded walls that, like the ceiling, emitted a somber, green glow. To my left I spied one area that stood out: an arched, unlit semicircle. As I tried to discern what it meant, it emitted a whoohishing sound and slid from view. A dark shadow stood in the doorway.


Now let's move on to this week's new story chain entitled again, for the moment, Your Story. As mentioned previously I am going to ask you to start the story as well as finishing it, that way you have total control of what the story is and what its destination will be. If you would like to take part in the contest then please make sure you upvote and resteem this post. Then use the comment box to start and continue writing the story. Please ensure you number which part of the story you are writing. Be as creative and as original as you can. You can write in any genre and mix things up as much as you want. And make sure you flex that creative muscle and have fun.

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This contest is sponsored by Whaleshares and I owe a big thank you to @akrid and @officialfuzzy. There are 100 Whaleshares for the winning entry. If you would like to learn more about Whaleshares and how they can increase your post rewards please visit https://steemit.com/whaleshares/@eirik/guide-on-how-to-use-whaleshares-updated-version where @eirik will gladly explain more to you.

What I am looking for in order to determine the winning entry is as follows:

  • A strong sense of imagination
  • Creative intelligence
  • Originality
  • Narrative fluidity (ensuring the story chain links smoothly)
  • Use of language, grammar and syntax (we need to understand what you're saying!)

The winner will be announced in a week's time. A new post will be published then announcing the winner along with a new story chain.

Part One of Your Story

Please begin writing the story.

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Part 2
Sarah just stared at the piece of paper in utter bewilderment. Droplets of rain began to fall onto it at a faster pace. She quickly glanced around, hoping to see someone she could ask for help. "Damn it", she thought, remembering that she had left her phone at home on the charger. Issuing the command to stay towards Joey, and after verifying that he was listening. Sarah slowly walk towards the mound of dirt. As she got closer to it, it was clear to her that there was more then just a skull underneath the mound. Having watched more than her share of investigated shows, she was not regretting having picked up a piece of paper. The falling rain and slowly increasing it's pace. Carefully folding the paper, she sighed realizing that she had no pockets.

As she pondered the situation, Joey let out a sigh. Looking over at Joey, who was staring at her pleadingly while beginning to whimper. Sarah walked over to Joey, and said, "come on boy" as should begin to run back towards business district. The police station was not too far from where she was now standing. Though she had not originally intended to run the distance back, at this point it was all she could do. Her legs tremble as she ran down the hill, though she was impressed by their resilience. She paid little attention to the sites around her, as she ran to the police station. Even the smell of the bakery was but a fleeting impression.

Her mind was filled with thoughts of what had just occurred. Different scenarios were now streaming through her thoughts, occasionally interrupted by the discomfort of having water drip into her eyes. Both her and Joey we're completely soaked, though Joey did not seem to mind as much. She did her best to shake off the streams of water flowing down her wrist and through her fingertips. There was little she could do to keep the note grasped tightly in her hands from getting wet. She could even feel the moisture squishing between her toes, as water drip down her yoga pants and into her sneakers.

As she made her way through the business district, she conscious glanced the streets. Hoping to find someone that could help. Yet there was no one, it was just her and Joey. A sense of relief came over her as the police station came within view. Though she had seen the classic stone building, with the large stone steps, an tall stone pillars before. This was probably the first time she felt so much joy in seeing it. Running up the stairs, and holding the door open for Joey. She made her way towards the reception desk. Sitting at the desk was an older man, with a neatly trimmed beard, thick brown glasses, and wearing the standard police uniform.

His eyes widened as he saw Sarah approaching. " Are you okay!", he exclaimed. Sarah was now leaning forward with both hands on the desk, trying to catch your breath. The moisture from her hands dripping onto the desktop surface. Slightly panting Sarah begin to recount her story. Starting with her run, describing the skull in the mound of dirt, handing over the now soaked note, an ending with her run to the police station. The officer then looked questioningly at the note, and back at Sarah.

That is nice. Well done.👍

Thank you. I'm aware I could have gone farther but I felt it was getting too long.

The length is okay. This way, another can proceed from where you ended without much trouble.

Thanks. I wish someone had lol.

Newly joined steemits so don't really have a story but from what I have heard steemits is great and there are a lot of people with positive stories on it.

You should definitely consider joining the next contest. If you win the prize will definitely help you out nicely. Also consider joining the community on Discord, you'll find a lot of great people who are more than willing to help.

@freedomexists thank you, it was my first story writing i did in my whole life:).

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