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RE: Echoes of Tommorrow's Past - Part 7 (My Original Novella)

in #story7 years ago

You've got some real talent here. Intriguing hook, slowly pulling us in. Good vocabulary, nice flow. A few sentences that are telling us instead of showing us ("His professionalism was never held to question,") could be altered or deleted. Otherwise, this is something I would buy.

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Thanks very much, @erikj. The sentence you mentioned was a defining characteristic of Dr. Grey hence the explicit detail. Could also be interpreted as James's thoughts while observing the doctor. But thoughtful feedback nonetheless. Much appreciated. :)

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