The death of a loved one, how long should you grieve?

In my 24 years of life so far, I have attended several funerals most of whom meant so much to me as a person when they were alive. The simple question that often pops out in my mind is do I really have to cry out loud?

Sometimes some people even judge the love and loyalty to the deceased by a measure of how strongly one weeps at their funeral grounds. This has even led to the notion that there are organised funeral firms with trained 'moaners' who are hired with the main purpose of triggering tears at the funeral grounds .

Does crying really mean that much?
Well, different people grieve differently and the expression of sorrow is but a natural process. It gets awkward when people who hardly even know the diceased whale so loud almost sounding like fake tears.
Lets see what Islam says on this:
"ابكين، وإياكن ونعيق الشيطان ، ثم قال: ” إنه مهما كان من العين والقلب، فمن الله، ومن الرحمة، وما كان من اليد واللسان، فمن "لشيطان “
This means: “Weep, but avoid the crying of the Devil. Whatever comes from eye and heart is from Allah and is a sign of mercy, and whatever comes from hand and tongue is from the Devil.”

This calls for one popular story, the story of the dark candle, let's examine this and see a different perspective especially to religious people!

This man had a little daughter who was his beloved as she was his only child. Soon his only reason for living was to take care of this girl since her mom had passed on.

source

Some day the little girl fell ill and her illness never got better even with the best doctors the man could find. The man could not sleep, he worked day and night, traveling across the world for remedy but to no avail.

Eventually, the child died. This left the man so bitter that he could not move on, he became recluse and kept himself off from all his relations. All efforts made by his friend and family to restore normal life was strongly resisted and he got bitter and bitter by the day.

This continued for a long time until one night when he had a dream. He was in heaven and witnessing a grand pageant of all the little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past a massive White Throne. Every white-robed, angelic child carried a candle.
He noticed, however, that one child’s candle was not lit. Drawing near, he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing towards her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and asked, “How is that your candle is the only one not lit?” he asked with his eyes fixed on her lovely face.
“Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out again,” she said.

Just then he awoke from the dream. The message was crystal clear, and it’s effects were immediate. From that moment he was no longer a held back but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling’s candle be extinguished by his useless tears.

I hope this short story will give you a different perspective in times of the lost of a loved one. It is natural to show remorse and grieve but this should not turn to harm you. We are all in the death row and no one is getting out of this alive.

Thanks for your attention