"BLIND DATE EXPERIENCE" My Sunday service in Barracks

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Ona good morning for we country dis and for the white land of baba shali, i been dey looku looku my blog dis morning naso i jam this ogbonge contest by our very own naija pidgin contest, e don tey wey i don get am for mind say i like test my talent for we pidgin wey be say na im be the correct language for we country here even spread to other country, imagine say you dey where aboki been wan call my people ona know wetin aboki go talk na? my phifu im go talk o.
Ok now mak we go to the story proper make i see if i go fit make una laugh small.
E get this babe wey i don dey fall for, e happen say me i be one shy person, i no dey get mind go meet babe say i love am, na im make my friend ebuka collect the ere wey be say i don dey die for since wey we don dey jss2. Since wen dat incident don hit me i don swear say i no go ever let any babe wey i love go just like that, say i go go borrow liver even if i no get go meet the d girl follow her yarn my mind.

E get dis fine babe wey dey my area her name na toyin i don love dis babe die, infact na true love dat time, cus me i love the way wey the babe dey always speak english, and she get all dose figure wey be say e dey scatter my small head that time, my phifu as per say who i be say i no get liver to go follow her talk, naso i carry my biro and book go dey write one yeye letter dey tell the girl say i love her, as mumu wey i be i con still go give her brother the letter, say make e help me give his sister naso the crazy boy go give my letter to all the big bros wey dey ther compound naso gbege land for my head o, cum see as she con my house con rake for me.. Naso i zero my mind to dey go toast girls for my area bcos me i no fit collect anoda insult.

Grin grin naso my fone ring one early momo as i pick am the voice wey i hear make sleep clear for my eyes,
"hello who dey talk,i ask am"
"Na me bose she reply me"
"Bose from where o"
"Na bose from ladipo oshodi, you don forget me kunle"..'
"No be kunle dey talk o, na Gbenga o"
"Ok na wrong number you call"
Naso she hang up the phone, but the voice wey me been hear don sweet me for belle, since i no see her face to face na just to dey call her ontop phone my liver strong for this one.

The second day naso me self mistakenly call her o, na from there we turn friends from friends we turn boyfriend and girlfriend, the thing dey easy for me as per say my mouth sweet ontop phone if to say na face to face i for turn stammerer.

Naso me and bose dey jollificate with our love o, one thursday night na im she call me say make we see on friday, i con dey fear, naso my liver dey cut, e be like say she don know say i no get mind bcos na she dey push say make we see, after she don squeeze me well i no get choice na to agree o.

She con give me location wey we go take see, e get one fast food for my area, we agree to jam there by 10am on friday.

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As person wey i be i don dey the fastfood since 9.30am i dey wait for my shuma i don order water like three times, as soon as 10am knack like dis naso i see sojo motor park for the fastfood front, i first dey look say maybe na yahoo boys dem con look for, naso i see dis big black female sojo come down from the van, she comot fone dey call number, na she i still dey look wen i notice say my fone dey ring, my brother and sister at dat moment e be like say make i dey piss for body, i no fit carry fone and dat time my fone loud die she call again as i say make i stand up run like this she don know say na me bcos na only me dey my seat, she shout tell me say make i sitdown, naso i sitdown back dey shake oo, all the people wey dey fastfood don dey pity my career.

She con sitdown for my front, u no go bliv say she still tall pass me ontop say she sit down. She ask me say why i dey shake i con tell her say i wan go piss she say make i go make i no tey o, naso i run away ooo. I no fit con let sojo beat me, if you see dis babe she tall pass me 3times.

You no go blive say na barack i do my sunday service on to say i jam her van on sunday wen i dey go church jeje naso dem carry me go barack go meet my bose for barack, she no allow make dem touch me o, but the kind drilling wey dem give me i swear say i no go eva do blind date again...

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Na my story be that my people if you no wan turn barracks to church abeg no do blind date o, naso one of my friend do blind date go meet im babe discover say she be conductor wey don treat my guy fuckup inside yellow bus before...

Happy first sunday of the month guys, i just dey try ni o, its been a while i did contest like this i hope you enjoy my story.

TERMS AND ENGLISH MEANINGS OF SOME WORDS USED

SOJO = SOLDIER
FONE = PHONE
SHUMA = GIRLFRIEND
ERE = GIRLFRIEND
PHIFU = PEOPLE
BABA SHALI LAND = WHITE-MAN LAND
LIVER = CONFIDENCE
GBEGE = TROUBLE
YAHOO BOYS = INTERNET FRAUDSTERS