If i can turn back time

If i can turn back time just maybe i would change all my decision in my life. Maybe i would never be this miserable, hopeless and self pity to myself. Maybe i was just to young that i never thought that would change my entire life.
Hoping it would just past by but no i wasn't on that day. I feel so ashamed that i would like to be vanished on that day i can't face the people that who cares about be. I'm worried that they will be disappointed on me but the truth is it's me who's really disappointed of myself. I just now know how to forgive myself i always compare myself to anyone that they much better than i am. I really pity myself of this attitude on mine. That's why i really don't show how weak i am when it comes to myself i prefer to have this battle. I hope little by little i can fight my self doubt and i can gain more !in myself i can open up more to the people who waited for that day to come. Just please be there for me.