"Baby are you almost ready? I don't want us to be late, I made an 8:00 reservation."

Here Torrence is asking me if I'm ready and all I can think is how I don't feel like facing the world. The whole reason for me choosing to work at home was so I could escape from the ridicule and the watchful eye of society. These days no matter what I have on, no matter how fixed up my makeup is, no matter how jazzy my hair looks... I still just don't feel right.

I muster every chromosome of courage I have and haphazardly sigh, "Yes!"

"Awl baby don't look so disconnected, I promise you will enjoy tonight! I am taking you to your favorite French restaurant." Torrence reassures me to ease my discomfort. Just the fact that he always tried to make everything better calmed my out of sync anxiety.

On our way to my birthday dinner I sat back and admired how the man that I have loved for three years is still by my side. His goal was to always make me happy and show me nothing but the best of love. I must say he was dressed extra nice tonight. I usually only saw him dress like this.... NEVER! The lavender Italian dress shirt that sits on his nicely firm chest makes him look impeccable. It’s nicely tucked inside of black pinstriped slacks. But what made it all come together was the beautiful embroidered vest with a lavender and black embellished bowtie to match. The entrapment of his sophisticated looks, rescue me from the worries of mines. I could look at him all day and just knowing that he was all mines and then some helped my mind to escape my own self reservations.

At the end of dinner we serenaded the moment by gazing into each other’s eyes while the wine filled our blood rushing veins. The moment was so wonderful! We had a quaint table tucked in the corner of the restaurant. The window view gave us a sparkling night gaze at the stars. The candle burning on the table felt symbolic of our everlasting love. After our main course, Torrence seized quality time to caress my hand while feeding me half-spoonful bites of Lavender Crème Brule. The vision of him romantically picking up the spoon and making sure to catch a bite of fruit with each serving was cute. But what was sexy, was how the creamy light purple of the dessert reflected off of his well put together ensemble. I wasn't even correlating the connection of the two when I ordered. He took this valuable moment to let me know that he is, “very happy being by my side” and is, “excited for our future”. But for some reason all I could think was... "Why?" I love Torrence with all my heart but I can't escape the feeling that I didn't deserve him. I am not the same able bodied woman I used to be.

We left the restaurant feeling like two love birds and besides my insecurities I tried to make the best of the night. Even though I wanted to separate myself from the rest of the world, I admit the refreshing atmosphere and faces did lift my spirits some. When we arrived back at our house Torrence forewarned me that it was his duty to take good care of me tonight.

Torrence steps out of the bathroom with nothing on but some black silk boxers and a long stemmed red rose strayed between his teeth. His eyes are big and bold like the exaggerated look on an elated cartoon character's face. He grins bright as if it was his birthday we’re celebrating. I can't deny the enjoyment this man has so I try my best to embrace it. He gets in a prowler stance at the edge of the bed and begins crawling towards me, now with the rose in one hand. He christens my ears with his sultry sound, "Happy Birthday to youuuuu, happy birthday to youuuuu, you are my boo and we both know this is true, happy birthday to youuuu!"

Before he plants his last kiss he takes one more lingering look at me, this time my whole body. The dissatisfaction that I have for myself becomes evident by the bashful look on my face of shame. He runs his fingers through the side of my hair, curls it around his finger and says, "Baby you are the most beautiful woman in the world, I wouldn't trade you for anything". And before kissing me he let me know that 27 is for when he realized that no matter what, we would spend the rest of our lives together. [sigh] His words are always reassuring. "Even though you may not feel like you are pretty or woman enough I will show you that you are all the woman for me." And then with minuscule emphasis, he places his lips on mine. They are so soft and melt perfectly on mines.

Torrence sits on top of my pelvis so he can tend to what matters most. He proceeds by massaging my temple with his thumbs and two fingers from each hand. As soon as he begins I let everything go and fall into full relaxation. It was as if I was letting go of my worries and putting my life into his hands. He took his time to leave no part of my skin untouched. The pressure of his chest against mine as he licks every inch of my neck sends tingling sensations sprinting around. It was as if our hearts had merged and began beating with the same intensity and rhythm every time. I begin moaning as he takes me far on a spiritual journey. Torrence continues to seduce every part of my body that he knows would send me on a much needed vacation. The smell of his Degree deodorant is so strong like cologne yet it makes him smell like everlasting freshness.

After a couple hours of receiving my birthday love I begin feeling like a new woman. Each slight touch that he lays on my body now feels like each one sends volts of pleasure to parts of my body I thought were inoperable. It’s a whole new feeling that I can't quite grasp but I know that it makes me feel like a woman again and complete.

The next day I just sat and reflected. Just the thought of Torrence being here for me even after the car accident left me paralyzed from the waist down solidified I had a good man on my side. It had been nearly a year and he was still here helping me in every shape and form. When I wanted to give up he pushed me. When I frowned he smiled for the both of us. He took his time to make sure every need of mines was met. Even though I wasn't able to please him sexually like before that didn't faze him. It was almost as if my accident had brought us closer and allowed us to reach new levels with each other. I knew he loved me when he made it his power to figure out other methods that I could still get sexual pleasure. The me before the accident was a freak and he knew then that I had to always feel stimulation. Now it's the stimulation of his gentle hands, warm soul, and everlasting love that keeps me going. He made me feel so special for my birthday that from that day onward I decided to make it my duty to believe I was beautiful and that nothing could hold me back. With a man like Torrence to help me throughout the way I could do anything! Who knew how much a little extra extra TLC could do for you. My birthday was the last day I told myself I would feel sorry for myself and my situation.

I was becoming a new woman! And with Torrence by my side, each step of the way would feel less challenging.