My first time smoking

I remember when I first tried a cigarette. I was 15 years old, and I was about to go to the club with my friends, and one of them offered a cigarette. I was super innocent at the time and I did not want to smoke, but there was something inside of me that really wanted to try it. I smoked a whole cigarette that night, and many more at the club. I felt soooo good about smoking.
I've always had hardcore anxiety and I felt like the tobacco helped me every single time to connect with my inner self and relax. It was instant, once cigarette, less anxiety. And all of my friends smoked at the time, so my smoking increased. I loved "Marlboro" (red), the strongest one I've tried, while my friends smoked "Lucky Strike" and "Camel".

What I didn't realize at the time was that the more I smoked, the more I needed to smoke. Besides that I got in trouble with my mom (she found a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in my purse LOL), she was so mad at me and told me I had no permission to smoke anymore, and threw all to the garbage. Of course I went to the store and got more, I kept on smoking until I was 21.

My first time quitting

I got a job at a teenager's clothing company, and I didn't want to go to work smelling like cigarettes as I was working with teenagers and their moms everyday. This helped me smoking less (at home only) and then, eventually I stopped smoking. I was amazed about how quickly I've had quit. Though, inside me I still desired to smoke.

Round 2

Eventually I stopped working at that store and I started smoking again, first I started with my friends and later on I was buying them again. This time I was smoking a lot, I reached a point where I was smoking around 25 cigarettes a day. But it killed my anxiety. I was jobless and renting a home, cigarettes had become way more expensive at that time and I was spending a lot of money on it. I started to realize that I liked smoking so bad that I was not eating but smoking. My priorities were all wrong.
I decided to save the money, forcing myself NOT to buy cigarettes, and even that it was hard, I quit smoking. The hardest part were the first days, but a lot of water and mate tea helped me during my detox, reducing the anxiety, I started noticing how my skin was brighter and my teeth looked whiter, plus my clothes weren't stinky all the time, and I became super sensitive to the smell of cigarettes.

Mate tea helped me so much

Nowadays

When I traveled to Peru I tried something really amazing and strong Mapacho.
Mapacho is a locally grown dark tobacco, locals smoke it in ceremonies, and they smudge the area while smoking this sacred tobacco. This opened my mind about something: Tobacco is considered a plant of power by many cultures, but by smoking industrialized tobacco I was consuming a lot of chemicals, that were actually making me addict to cigarettes.
I haven't smoked a cigarettes (neither craved one) since 2011. I have though smoked tobacco, fresh tobacco leaves, but to be honest I do it every once in a while, I call it my emergency tobacco, because I smoke it whenever I need a spiritual connection, and it is maybe once a year that I feel like smoking it.

I wanted to share my story because since I quit cigarettes my life improved a lot, I can do exercise without getting tired, my skin is noticeable more beautiful and I feel better in general.
If you are trying to quit smoking, I fully support your journey, just remember: You CAN do this! A healthier life style is waiting for you<3

Thanks for reading my post!

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