Where It All Happens - A True Story

"The best preparation for tomorrow is to do today’s work superbly well."
- Sir William Osler

It's funny how one memory triggers another...

Writing about the day I was fired from Burroughs Corporation reminded me of another story from that era.

I shared an office with Bob.

Bob and I had a casual, easygoing relationship. I enjoyed Bob's company very much, and from time to time during the work week, we would "get on a roll," exchanging humorous remarks and escalating puns.

At Risk of Cascading...
Photo courtesy of Sayurta CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

You should have seen our office.

Neither Bob nor I were going to win the "Office of the Year" award. We used to joke about the risk of a cascade of books and papers burying us out of sight. Future archaeologists would need to come and excavate our bones.

Future Archaeological Dig
Photo courtesy of Yinan Chen, via Wikimedia Commons

It was the 1980's.

Our R&D group was a maverick within Burroughs. Rather than use Burroughs' own computers, we had installed a Digital Equipment Corporation VAX running Bell Lab's UNIX operating system. We were proud of our VAX, which boasted about 1 MIPS (Million Instructions Per Second) of compute power. We were ecstatic when we added a multi-platter hard disk drive, increasing the virtual memory capacity to 200 megabytes...

I will dare you to compare that with the compute power and memory capacity of whatever you are now reading this on! As hard as it may be to imagine, there were about forty of us using that VAX, connected to it with ANSI-style terminals.

A whopping 200 megabytes of data...
Photo courtesy of Arnold Reinhold CC BY-SA 2.5, via Wikimedia Commons

One day, Mel, a top manager, walks in to our office.

Bob and I were busy working on our terminals, studiously accomplishing our respective tasks. The office was in it's usual, edgy state of chaos.

As we both look up, Mel launches into a diatribe.

"I was just checking the VAX logs. You two are each individually using more compute time and hard drive space than any other two people in the company put together." He seemed a little upset.

For a moment there was only stunned silence.

"What's going on here?" Mel continued, his tone escalating ominously. "This has got to stop. Why in heaven's name are you two hogging all the computer resources?"

Bob and I look at each other. At this point, we can almost read one another's minds. Nevertheless, by a kind of telepathic mutual consent, it is I who turn to Mel and reply.

Where it all happens...
Photo courtesy of Thought Catalog and http://unsplash.com

"Mel, we're glad you noticed." I begin.

"It's really simple. This is where all the work is getting done."

I wish I had a photo of his face.

Stunned, Mel turned and walked out of the office. We never heard another word on the topic.

Have you ever struggled for just the right words?

Squirmed, sputtered, said something lame, later wishing you had done better?

Never before or since have I, on the spot, come up with such a perfect answer.

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~FIN~

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