Just Don't - Heroin's "Special" Touch on My Life

Tonight, I have a heavy subject to discuss. I'm not one to shy away from the heavier subjects. It is better to be aware of them then just pretend they don't exist.

December 26th, 2015 is the last time we saw her. Her being, Kelsey, who would've been my now sister in law. Kelsey had a lot of difficulties in life. She lost her mother as a toddler. She lost her step mother to drugs.

I knew Kelsey since summer of 2013, which was right after I met my now husband. (Us below)

Kelsea had been behaving strangely for quite sometime. Eventually she told her father she was addicted to heroin. He got her into rehab immediately. She struggled, she had relapses, but eventually seemed to be winning the battle against heroin and had been earning sobriety coins too.

Towards the end of 2015, things were looking promising for Kelsea. She was interviewing for a good job and seemed to be clean, all things moving smoothly. To the keen observer (myself), it did seem there were descrepancies in some things she would tell us. Or rather, the information she chose to share.

And, as we came to find out there were. As I said, Christmas of 2015 was the last time we saw her. She was dead less than a month later.

Leading up to her passing were clues. Money problems, inconsistencies in things she was telling us, lack of communication, etc. I'll never forget the day my husband's father called saying, "your sister took all her money out of her account and won't return my calls...."

Kelsey was near death or dead already at the time of that call. My husband received word of her passing roughly over 24 hrs later. She was found dead with "half a syringe " in her arm by her roommate. By the way, her father was paying all her bills because she was to be starting the new job in February so needed financial assistance until then. No one knew she had a roommate
Everyone now knew the reason why for the constant "need" for money
The job was a real thing. But she just could not stop. We now feel she was kinda just messing around until she started her new job in marketing - i.e: One last joy ride type situation. If only she had known it really was her LAST joy ride.

According to the roommate, she had only taken "a little bit." Hence the "half a syringe"... Kelsey knew she had better things coming her way. She was very intelligent. She wasn't suicidal. The overdose was not intentional. It is true, she took a "small amount."

Turns out the heroin is getting laced with Fentanyl an opiod painkiller 50x more powerful than heroin. I've done a ton of research on this, trust me. This drug is so damn powerful it causes even the most experienced user to misjudge. It is the same drug you may recall that killed Prince.

Sometime after Kelsey's death, much of which is a blur now, I heard a doctor out of DC on a radio talk show discussing the heroin epidemic. She discussed the lacing of the drug with Fentanyl. She discussed just how potent Fentanyl by itself is. As a physician, she claimed to have only, with great hesitancy, have prescribed this drug one time via IV to a trauma victim for severe pain. That's how strong it is.

My point is, if you or someone you know is using HEROIN, I don't care how much you think you know about "dosing" yourself. If it's got Fentanyl in it you will probably overdose and die.

There are now heroin injection clinics popping up. Very controversial obviously. Started in Europe and Canada. Lots of resistance to it here in the US. Suggesting, oh it enables. Well I sure wish Kelsey had been in one. Here are the PROS AND BENEFITS:

• trained medical staff nearby
• clean needles
• less risk of hiv due to sharing needles
• proper needle disposal
• overdosing addict will not die due to presence of the medical staff
• nurse to overdosing addict: "hey buddy, you overdosed, you were going to die but you were here in this heroin injection clinic and we saved you"......a lot of potential there, oh, wow i almost died, maybe i should stop using" OR addict walks in sees another receiving emergency medical attention and it's the moment they chose to quit
• increased push towards agencies to help with sobriety for interested addicts

I was denied the relationship with Kelsey that I wanted, as a sister in law. We were denied her presence at our wedding. My husband lost his only sibling. A daughter and friend was lost. An intelligent whitty person gone for good. I've lost a lot in my life,I have deep rooted depression and PTSD from childhood and other events. But watching two grown men cry and forgo seeing her body (for good reason) was its' own class of pain I hope never to experience again. Watching then chose her urn. I'll never forget. Having to clean up the literal mess on the sheets the police didn't get. Trying to get that cleaned up before her father and brother saw it, I will never forget.

Being an addict of any kind can turn a person ugly. Unfortunately, the ugly got turned at me and mostly her father. Very very sad. My last day with her, I had to lock up my anxiety meds because she was trying to find them. I got my own demons, I tried to help Kelsey but in the end the drug got her.

♡ RIP Kelsey, I am glad you aren't suffering anymore. ♡

FYI: I PLAN TO DONATE SOME OF THE EARNINGS ON THIS POST TO HELP HEROIN ADDICTS IF ANYONE HAS GOOD SUGGESTIONS OF AGENCIES PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I WILL DO A FOLLOW UP POST LATER TO SHOW THE DONATION.

all pics here are my own, except the first i got from an unknown source shared on facebook