RE: The Return of the Playground Series; Reality In Fiction: Episode Three recap "Definitions and What's in a Name"
This just feels like the playgrounds of upstate NY to me (where I grew up, I know this playground could be anywhere). But I feel the grass and the breeze and his breath through your words...like everyone else, this takes me back to a time when life was new, exciting, unknown.
As someone who was raised very very Christian - with a deacon dad - I can feel the female character's apprehension as the guy (ug! my memory! can't think of his 'name) alludes to the fact that he doesn't believe in God as she knows him.
I remember an incident on the playground - when I was 5 or 6 - and asking a little girl if she believed in Jesus (because I came from a family where that was totally an OK thing to ask lol) - and she said no, and I feared for her soul...and feared her as well. What kind of person doesn't believe in Jesus and God and the devil and the church?
Funny how our ideas of enlightenment change....
Did I say kindred? Because now I'm thinking maybe we were separated at birth, lol! My playground photos were taken in Watkins Glen/Seneca Falls/Geneva/Ithaca NY, and I asked the exact same question of many children throughout my young life with the same fear if their responses were no.
Very, very christian, ha, yes. My dad left this life without even knowing how much my views have changed. Of all of my writing, let's just say I never shared these particular stories with my parents. Mom needs her faith right now more than ever, I think she might crumble without it.
edit: My dad was a deacon for a time as well...
I'm adopted so you never know lol! It's technically possible ;-) My birth father was from the Adirondack area, and from what I understand was quite a drifter.
That was faith for my dad too - he/we - but he more he suffered a lot of loss (2 wives in less than 10 years for him, a mom and step mom for me, in addition to others...at least we developed a sense of humor about mortality lol) - and I have no doubt, without God and the church he would have been gone a long time ago.
Faith in anything can be amazing - I think we all just sort of have different...spiritual locks and keys inside of us, so to speak. For some, the structure , community, and doctrines of organized religions is the answer...for others, it's a hodgepodge and maybe vague notion of 'something bigger' . The only thing I don't get is atheism - I tried it for a while in teenage years to rebel from Christianity, but it wasn't me. I don't know how anyone could be so certain there isn't more to this life.
Totally understand not sharing your views with family - I'm the same when I visit my hometown and see friends of my dads. Religion can be an incredible source of strength - unfortunately, most aren't great about allowing other points of view - but I'm glad your mom has you and of course, her faith to get through this. Ug did I mention how much death sucks :-/ more hugs your way!
My dad could not have handled the loss of my mom. He was quite determined to leave this plane before her...problem is he really overshot that goal as her family is known for longevity and she seems much younger than her almost seventy years and she will most likely live to ninety quite effortlessly. She'll be okay, along with me, my brother, our families and her faith she has quite a few friends, church groups etc.
Yes, death sucks. I lost my sister to a car accident when she was just about to turn eighteen, and then a very close friend took his life a few years later so I'm not a stranger to it, but it always sucks.
I can't do atheism either. I never did try it, I've always known there was more than this life, it's just what I feel that 'more' is has changed quite dramatically. Actually I can't even say what I do think it is, I have lots of fun theories, but I wonder if part of this experience is that we cannot know exactly what comes after. Or what came before for that matter.
Humor is so important. My dad definitely had a sense of humor about mortality and generally I do too. I will again, it's just going to take a little time. Mostly it will take seeing my mom adjusting well.
Thanks for the hugs!
OMG ug and ug and ug. All the obligatory 'sorry for your losses' - but you know I mean something deeper than that. The 'funny' thing about losing a lot of people close to us - well, at least for me, I still never know what to say to others? But, for those who have had so many loss experiences, there seems to be an understanding of (back to truth in cliches) - there really are no words.
I think it's probably healthiest not to worry to much about your sense of humor at this point! Grieving and being together and being and....well, you know - all the stuff you need to do to get through this period.