Beauty is like a book, it cannot be judged by its cover #chapter 7

I woke up in the morning with me and was not beside me, Hagar searched for something in the bag
"Yao sorry I woke you up? "She stopped and looked at me
"No," I said in my sleep
"What's the matter with you with me? "She looked at me
" is nothing "
"Geffen, I know you, you want him"
"Why is he all yours?" I said with a smile
"Do you think so? I want Ural and besides, he looks at you as if he admires you and cares for you. Do you really think I'll stand between you? "She smiled at me
"He tells me full of pretty words but he does not want me and he says he'll hurt me," I said quietly confessing to her
"All right, let time do its work ... as long as you do not come back to that son of a bitch," she said sadly, and I was silent
"Do not tell me you love him because I do not buy it. You're just obsessed with him because you're afraid to be alone but he's a son of a bitch and he treats you like a maniac and every time he hits you you vomit again and get hospitalized again." She told me everything I She knows and is afraid to admit
"I know ... I'm different," I said
"Itai is a man." She smiled
"Where is he really? "I asked
"They're preparing to eat outside," she said
"Yala Kumi will wear a bathing suit," she added
"Shall we show you a bathing suit next to all these boys? "I shrieked
"When will you understand that you are a murderer and you should not be ashamed of your body? Why do you hate yourself so much? Do you understand why I hate Or? Instead of picking you up, it just lowered your confidence all the time "
"I'm not a glass of wine, I'm a cow," I said quietly
"Oh, I wish you could see yourself in a different light, beyond your body and being an amazing girl." She stroked me with a smile
"Thanks for everything" I smiled back
"My Sister, Yala, get up to eat and be careful to tell me no." She got up to leave the tent, followed her out, and went to the washrooms to wash the face and brush shines
"Good morning" with me smiled at me and I came back into the tent
"Good morning" I smiled at him and went in
"Come eat," he glanced at me
"I'm not hungry," I said quietly, afraid of the reaction
"You do not start with that," he warned me
"I do not eat next to all those people with me"
"I'll bring you a plate here," he said, and left
He came back after a few minutes with cheese and omelets and served me a plate and sat next to me
He smiled at me
"Do not look at me," I murmured, putting a cucumber in my mouth
I ate a lot .. I wanted to vomit it but with me looked at me as if just waiting for me to dare to get up
"What? "I asked
"I see what you want. It will not happen," he muttered
"What really is not" I lied
"Part of the process is to stop lying to me and start counting on me," he said, looking at me, causing my heart to knock. Why did he have to be so good to me? No one behaves like that to me, not even a light that was my boyfriend for two years
Does not he understand that he is confusing me? That I am in a position too sensitive to hear good words
"Do you want to go into the water? " He threw
"No," I said quickly
"If I and I go to the corner alone? "
" No "
"You were already beside me in a bathing suit," he said
"So what did not you see?" I said defensively
"Even now I will not see"
"I do not feel like it," I muttered quietly
"Good," he said, frowning at his forehead
I said, taking care of his gaze
"You did not eat," he said quickly
"You asked me not to vomit ... If I take another bite I will not control it"
"All right," he said, standing up
"Yala, let's get out." He held out his hand
We went outside, everyone was in the water and only I sat down on the ground and let the sun warm me up
"You can go to the water You do not have to watch over me"
"That's my job." He grinned
"It's okay to keep me from being hurt, not to keep me in the sun for you to swim," I said, lying on the sand
"I do not feel like leaving you alone." He lay next to me
"I asked you to stop being nice to me," I said irritably
"What do you want me to treat you like a son of a bitch? "
" Yes "
" Why? "He turned his head to look at me
"So I do not open up expectations," I whispered hoarsely
And he kept silent, looking at me
"I do not want to hurt you vine," he said
"I know ... so just stay away with me on work matters only," I said indifferently
"Stop keeping me away from you ... I'm having fun with you"
"Me too with you and that's why you have to stay away, you're good to me from my hands in life A man did not treat me like that"
"How's that? " he said
"Like a queen" I smiled at him
"You need people around you just to treat you, not those who do not appreciate you"
"I love him ... and he knows me too. Why do he get angry at me? I would not want to go out with a mentally ill person like me," I said, playing with my fingers
"You're not mentally ill," he said nervously
"I do .. I'm too confused even sex I did not give him properly, obviously look outside"
"Will not you stop talking nonsense right? "He whispered exactly that his friends came to us and sat down with us
That evening they were on fire, only the smell made me nauseous. I went up and walked quietly on the beach without anyone noticing, I walked on the cold wet sand looking at the sea, there was a soothing quiet I did not even notice how far I got away from them, I let the sea clean all the negative thoughts from me, I should not be sucked by my own whims. I have to start taking myself
Evaluate my body and everything that comes with it
Fight myself and my illness, pick up the pieces and not let anyone undermine my confidence
Look in the mirror and love what I see
Even if everything is not perfect, everything is perfect.