"My husband's dead body of my husband was covered...."

I did not feel like going to work one day. My husband took a lot of time to return from the bazaar. He brought a big fish and a lot of vegetables. When I saw all that, I got mad at him and asked about why he had spent so much money unnecessarily. He just laughed, and asked me to cook some fresh food. I was already late for work. Yet, I cooked the fish with a lot of spices. We have a daughter and a son. Our daughter loved her father blindly. She was pressuring me to give two pieces of the fish to her father. That was one of the most memorable morning we have ever had. That moment, I had no idea within a few hours our life would change completely. When I was coming to work, my husband secretly told me that he will buy a new dress for me. I reminded him that it was very important to save money for our children. But he reminded me that I should take care of myself no matter what.

I was in the middle of my work when my neighbour arrived to take me home. My son had a fever so I got scared when my neighbour arrived, fearing that something bad may have happened to him. I asked him if he called my husband too. My neighbor did not respond. I ran to my home and saw a crowd gathered around my house. My husband's dead body of my husband was covered. He was in a road accident earlier that day. No one even let us see his face.

It’s been a year and I never cooked fish again. Only sometimes when I do cook curry, I feel my husband is asking me to give a lot of spice in it. I miss him every moment of my life even though he is gone. I want to tell him that I am not able to take care of myself on my own. I badly want to erase every day of my life when he is not present. But I have to work for my children. My daughter looks exactly like my husband. Often times when I miss my husband a lot, I ask my daughter to smile. And when she does so, I can see my husband smiling at me.

• Maksuda (30)