Manic Pixie Dream Girl - Fry

So as if there was not enough for yesterday, Dillinger decided to drop by, of course right around the dinner time. He brought some blueprints but they were everything but what I expected to see.

It was as if he is laughing at me.

I was having spaghetti and coffee, and he awkwardly asked for the same, but with some grated cheese so I handed him a small bag.

While he was paddling a bag with a cheese I took a look at the papers he gave me.

Did something burnt in here - he asked - The whole building smells of smoke...

Yes, I burn another pot - I said observing the tables - I guess I have no luck with the hot stuff.

Apparently - he said - So, how is your friend, any news from you know who...?

Not really, and she is fine- I said placing papers on the table next to me - You said you will show me that Sammie guy.

Oh, yes, Sammie...- he took his phone and started to pat on it - Just a second here... Here, take a look.

I took his phone and watched for a few seconds on the Facebook profile he dug out - So this is a loser that got me in trouble?

Yeah... Dillinger answered - You expected something else?

To be honest, I expected something much ELSE, not this...

I don't get it, he continued, how you didn't found that on your own.

Maybe because I am not such an inquisitive personality like you- I said - Here is your phone. How are the spaghetti?

Mediocre - he replied - So there were no other incidents of 'broken passwords' and 'stolen phones'?

No, nothing that I am aware of. - I said

And you are not even slightly worried your stuff might be fried as well? - Dillinger asked observing a plate like it is contaminated.

Why should I be worried - I shrugged - It's not as if I have something to lose.

When is the last time your accounts were fried..- he asked

How about every day ... I said - You are saying it like if I should be worried if one falls I use another one, what is a big deal...

Well, you are right, why don't you spare Bob some time and just delete yourself completely, literary if you were to shove all you have online and toss it under the train altogether, it wouldn't be much to lose.

Well thank you- I said, - What's new...

Aw, nothing besides that hacking would probably cause more damage than use... - Dillinger smiled at me, but it was a pale smile.

What do you mean? - I asked - I didn't do anything and even if he hacks me what would he find ... wallpapers and youtube lists? Aw, yes, he can take my Paypal balance, it is about 93 cents now.

Mmmmh... - he nodded at me - and the thing that even you can't get into your accounts because an each has three dicks hanging above them- he finally took a plate - and your computer is a deserter from an evil AI factory, yet another reason I believe nothing you say. - he said that and placed his nose over the plate.

I just don't get you - I said - my pc is million years old and I am lucky it is still functional, and I don't have anything hanging... above... anything...

Sure it is only a coincidence - he nodded at me- all is just an accident with you. I swear there is something really wrong in your head. Or one of your multiple personalities is again playing tricks on you, huh?

What is your problem - I asked - You told me you gonna bring me something, you brought me a pile of bull that worths absolutely nothing ...

Well, for example - he put a bag with the cheese on the table - How the hell, of all the guys in the team... your account is the only one I couldn't make a transfer from?

He continued - I made a team, if you know what that word even means, to work together, not to be your personal fuck-ground to who knows what, and for some reason, all the other guys have dry accounts, I mean sand dry, but yours is loaded, and when I try to withdraw, nothing! I tried euros, pounds, swiss, dollars, even a damn rupees. Nothing!

We were not working as a team. You were working as a pack of wolves and I was left on the far deep end... - I tried talking

Excuse me, what? - he looked angry

And the reason why.... - I continued...

Excuse me, but what!?- he continued not listening to me at all - The whole thing about this team was to clean the accounts with one withdraw and to follow the plan, if you are not able to follow the plan...

And reason because you were not able... - I really tried to tell him

If you can't follow the simple plan, do you even think it is a surprise that we blocked you? - but he was not about to listen to me...

It is not because I was not following, it was because... - and I was trying to be reasonable with him, but...

Because I had no idea what a hell is going on, whatever I did it was futile and your numbers were upping like crazy. - nope, he was not about to listen to me...

It is maybe because you didn't check for Dongs... - I finally said.

What?

I am completely aware that I am the only woman in your team and all you boys felt superior to me, telling me what to do and how, but the fact is I am the only one with a dong, And apparently, with the brain to back it up. - I finished

You did what?

It's not my fault you made a console with 5 currencies and a Snoopy...

Did it cross your mind - he grabbed a bag of cheese and opened it pretty fast - that what you did, what a hell you did (?),

I converted everything to Dongs, nobody said anything about sticking to 5 damn currencies like they were a gospel...

Are you nuts!

No, I'm just a fried blonde, can't live without dongs...

Who told you to do that?

Nobody, I got a divine inspiration and made some money for the new batteries.

What!

Hey, you asked, don't blame me...

And I have to wait for you for three days to tell me that you are no-go?

I was sick.

Aw, you were sick! One of your mysterious headaches again. Is that so? How convenient. For three days? What a hell you were doing? Having a lying-in for one of your multiple personalities?

Yes, that's it! Katy gave birth to a lizard. She says you are the father. Has your eyes.

Who, the hell... is Katy?

Sure thing man, a carbon copy of his daddy...

What did you do for three days? - Dillinger was having enough of this - Beside... whatever you were... hatching...

Nothing- I said - I did absolutely nothing. I set that thing on lower table front...

We were supposed to do only upper three- he interrupted me again - what lower fronts, how much of them...?

Well most of them. - I said

Jesus..

But nobody informed me of anything...

Of course not...

When I came back, I was blocked, what suppose I had to do?

I shut it down.

Well, damn, it was not my fault.- I said watching him sprinkling that grated cheese-

I can't believe it - he continued - and after all, you just scoop like that with no explanation... Did you even get something out of it?

Yes, I converted to lower friction asset, change a couple times... you know what, I would tell you, but you were all 'on the target' and I was just 'packing it up', I mean, I am a cripple, so there was nothing to tell you later.

What kind of evil are you...- he continued red and quite grudged out

I done nothing, you didn't call, they just spread out like a flock of pigeons....

Well... he was mixing his coffee while half of it was already out...

And by the way, if they are so out there, why are you sitting here with me, I fail every damn thing on your list- I asked - or maybe because you altogether won a Darwin award?

Don't think into yourself that much, you didn't earn enough to win a cup of coffee.

I looked at his coffee and added - I know that you like some odd stuff, same like me, but this is the first time I see you drinking coffee with Parmesan...

I think I can expect Dillinger not so soon on the dinner.
Effective assessment, probably never...