4 steps to change a habit

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All of us have habits that we are aware of and we don't like or we receive with feedback all the time and we want to start to pay attention and maybe change them.
But how can you change something so deep in your behavior?
Doug Silsbee , in his book Present Based Coaching, explains the 4 steps to be used when wanting to change a habit.

1. Self Observation

If you are not even aware of or if you do not realize how often and what triggers that habit, this is your place to start.
I will take as example my tendency to interrupt people. This is my habit now and I want to change it.

Self observation means that I am becoming more aware of this habit. I don't try to change nothing yet, just notice every time when it's triggered and how do I feel.
First, I won't be able to notice it until it happened. I will realize I've interrupted someone when I get the feedback or couple of minutes after, when I realize I've broken the flow.
In time, the moment when I realize will be closer and closer to the manifestation until I will be able to notice my need of interrupting before this happens. Here we start the second step.

2. Realization

I'm now in the moment. I feel the need to interrupt my interlocutor and I can choose not to do it.
This is the realization moment, when I am in control of my behavior and I don't act on auto-pilot.

3. Re-Organization

This is the long part of the process and the place where there is a risk to quit if I am not aware that any change takes time.
So, I'm able now to observe when I am in the point of interrupting someone, sometimes. In this cases I am able to respond differently to my triggers.
Sometimes I'm not. Especially when I am tired or under pressure I tend to get back to my habit as it does not requires any conscious thinking.

But sometimes, I will be able to correct my past behavior. Sometimes will become more often and more often will become most of the time.

4. Identification

For a period of time I will work with both habits, the old one and the new one I want to built. It takes time to rewrite the patterns of my brain and respond automatically with the new behavior.
That's why I need to be patient and kind to myself. What is important is that I'm working on it and the time until I'm done will depend on how often the trigger exists and how deep my behavior is written in the brain patterns.

Conclusion

Of course, changing just the habit won't solve my initial need that triggers the interrupting. This is just a cognitive behavioral change, not a profound one. For some of us, this is enough. Others will want to understand the source of the behavior, accept it and only after let go of the habit.

Please, do not forget: every bad habit you have now was once something that helped you, otherwise you wouldn't have developed. So accept it, be grateful for the help it provided and work consistently on letting it go.

*source for all photos - pixabay