Every day I cry for my husband

I did not want to write, but another scandal knocked me out of my strength, that I can not keep silent any longer. My friends look at me and think - here's a fool. And I agree with them.

The fact is that I got married very early, at 18 years old. I went out for love, as I thought. As I now understand - for love, I took the first love, the roof vomited just like that. They met at 18, and at 19 I gave birth to my daughter. I can not say that my husband is very bad, he loves us with his daughter, he tries his best to have everything, he does not drink, does not change, he does not raise his hand, he works to get worn out, so that the family does not need anything, but character ...

I work at home, a commercial writer, of course, always at his side, and everything is fine with us these days. But I also study in absentia in another city - and then, when I go to the session, it starts.

She did not answer it, it was a scandal.

A man's voice (there are guys in the group) is a scandal.

Somewhere left in the evening - a scandal.

In cinema with the girl-friend? You went to study, not to crawl over cinematics! Scandal!

Once I was delayed in pairs, did not call when I came from the university. I had to delay, because I was discussing the coursework with the curator. Since I study after lunch, then I return to the hostel at about 7-8 pm. And that day was delayed for an hour, and the battery on the phone completely sat. When I arrived and turned on the phone, I was shaking with fear. He rolled a real hysterics: he could not get through to me, he started calling my friend (with whom we are studying), stirred her up to the point that she also fell into hysterics, thought that I was kidnapped-raped, robbed and so on. A girlfriend had accidentally told him that my classmate lives in a hostel, so there it started! Why did not you say so? Does he come to you? Probably, on pairs and with pairs together, and then still and sleep in one room ... I thought that I would go mad. Apologizing, he reasoned his hysteria by being worried, but I know him, I know that only one thing worries him - no matter how I would not walk around without him anywhere.

I know that this is jealousy, and it is so unfounded that I have nowhere to put myself. Constantly for all justified, and so ashamed when I have to do it with strangers. They look at me with pity, but I hate it.

I met a guy who met at school recently. He looked at me, said: "It's lucky for your husband, probably, he carries you on his hands." I create the appearance that we are all fine, but for a long time nothing is perfect. Constant swearing exhausted me so much that I lost joy in life in general. I do not go anywhere - the desire is gone. The maximum that I allow myself - once a couple of months to have a drink with my daughter-in-law at home when she arrives. And then he always squints and then reproaches me, that I devoted all the time to her, but did not pay attention to him.

I am happy in my family, but as soon as I look from the side in moments of scandals, it seems to me that the daughter is the only joy that was and will be in my life.