Being a Mom. Part II. If You Want to Make the God Laugh, Tell Him About Your Plans

I don't know if you have anything in mind you are sure will never happen to you. For example, I strongly believed I would never have a surgery on my appendix removal. I don't know why but I had that strong believe. And once I was brought with the emergency car to the hospital and till the last minute I was sure it was wrong diagnosis. Even after surgery I thought they did it by mistake...But it wasn't...

The same with my pregnancy...

By any reason I was pretty sure that it will take 1 - 2 years for me to become pregnant...And I even convinced my husband that it wouldn't happen soon as he was afraid that it was not the perfect period for kids due to financial situation. He believed me...And...I became pregnant with the first attempt.

I was pretty sure it will be a boy. Many - many years ago I saw that in my dream and in that dream I even knew the name....But...It was a girl...And, frankly speaking, I was very happy with it.))))

I was sure that I will not gain much weight and I would have a very little belly. Yes, I got weight within the norm but I had a huge belly and people even thought I had twins.

The doctors planned natural delivery but I had emergency Caesarean section.

I didn't have any doubts that my daughter would look like me. But there is nothing from me, except she is also a girl. She is 100% copy her papa.

I dreamed how my husband with flowers and balloons picked us up from the hospital but we stayed for 2 months in hospital. My baby was alone for the first month in the intensive therapy and it was the worst time as you were allowed to see your baby only one hour per day and for the second month we stayed together in the department for newly born.

When my boss asked me when I come back to work. I said that in about 6 months. My daughter is 4 and I am still at home.

After Ceasarian operation it was so so painful for about 5 days that I said I would never ever agree to have kids. The first half year was extremely difficult for me to be a mom. When we left the hospital my daughter still had a nasal tube for feeding and she gained weight very slowly. I was feeding her for 1,5 hours 8 times per day. Day and nights. There were many many other problems. I thought moms who have more than 1 child should be awarded with the Hero Star. Plus, of course, you forget about your personal life. I thought it was a mistake that I became mom. And of course, I repeated like mantra: "No kids anymore."

And the most strange thing is that now I secretly dream about another child. Shhhhhhh....Nobody knows that.)))) I am afraid of this feeling by myself....Women are so strange creatures, aren't they...?)))
I can't stop thinking of it.....

The photo was made in 2013. I was tired and exhausted but happy.

Yours, @aksinya.