Story-300words
Hotel California
Susan sat in the lobby, laptop on her knees. She was watching all the people. Could it be that nervous guy with a briefcase ? Without looking at the screen. She typed the same thing over and over again, “To kill or not to kill ?…..”
Tiffany was sitting in the hotel lobby. She was wearing miniskirt, and high heels. She hated this. “He’s a married man”, she thought, “I’m a homebreaker. God, how did I get into this ?” She noticed the woman with the laptop. “Oh no !, Could it be his wife ?” she asked herself.
Pablo was nervous. The cocaine deal had been done. His briefcase now held $1’000’000. The Godfather’s money. He felt watched. He noticed that the woman with a laptop was concealing a gun. One of the drug lord’s spies ? He could soon be rich or dead. Should he run ?
Okwasi enered the hotel tightly clutching the package. He knew his life would soon be over. Did he have the courage to do it ?
Dan entered the hotel slipping off his wedding ring. He saw his secretary sitting near the hotel window. She was looking nervously at another woman. Would she like his surprise? He crept up and popped the cork of the champagne bottle.
Tiffany barely heard the sound of the champagne cork popping. All she saw was the woman throwing her laptop the the ground and lunging towards her. Tiffany ran.
Pablo mistook the pop for gunfire. He had to run, now or never.
As Susan threw her laptop to the ground she charged past the mini-skirted tart, pulling her gun. She pumped two bullets into Okwasi’s brain. As he fell to the ground his hand let go of the wire to his suicide bomb.
Word count =299
It's a beautiful story dear @swissclive
Both romance is there and horrific suicide bomber is also there.
I read it 2 times to get it thorough before writing this comment and further the beautiful thing is that you managed to make it up within 300 words.
The point to be noted here is that it is easy to write story but completing it within 300 words and giving a direction to the story requires talent and this story is a well composed story.
To be honest I was giving much attention to "Tiffany" while reading this story.
Thank you @swissclive and Have a great day.
I dare say that Tiffany in her miniskirt, stockings and high heels was getting lots of attention especially considering the vibes of erotic sexual fantasy she was giving off before her lover arrived.
That erotic sexual fantasy caught my ateention too...to be honest....@swissclive I am also human being...I do have senses too...and to be honest particularly at that line i just kept on reading repeatedly with an imagination in my mind.
Thank you so much mam...you are awesome...Thanks a lot again.
Wow, what an intriguing piece, literally read it more 4 times, i really wanna hear more of your stories @swissclive
how the plot started, the romance between dan and Tiffany,
how did okwasi come about being a suicide bomber and why the hotel?
Who hired susan to take him out 🔫
I am olive twisting and can't get enough 😀😂
Well if this was a book, each character would have a chapter with the complete story told independently of each other, and then this blog could be the last chapter, although even I would like to know if Dan and Tiffany continue to hook up, and especially the torrid bits. I also wonder if Dan’s wife ever found out about the affair.
This is a delightful story
I like how you described the atmosphere of tension, which increased with reading.
This story is an excellent example for many how to write a story. Thank you, I liked it
to be honest, you wanted to read how the events developed even further ...
I suggest after the end of the contest to 300 words, to make a contest with a description of a self-contained but interesting story
Good idea!
I'm very glad that you appreciated my idea. I'm sure you will be able to make something of it that is masterpiece that will unite us and we will again be able to take part ... a new contest will be anticipated by many users, thanks
The story line is going to be a bomb, if extended. I love it, the suspence is on point. word count is 292 not 299.
Interesting word count. I wonder what extra words Microsoft word could see. It’s a pity, as I could have used those extra 8 words usefully in many places. For example, after the word “tart” I could have added “who was already running for the exit”. Or I could have said that the lady with laptop was from the anti-terrorist unit.
“who was already running for the exit. Or I could“who was already running for the exit”. Or I could have said that the lady with laptop was from the anti-terroris have said that the lady with laptop was from the anti-terrorist unit." Both would have been perfect as the case maybe. But you using this would have further increased the suspence "I could have said that the lady with laptop was from the anti-terroris."
One passage, so many stories. :)
But a few things I can't figure out. Who was susan supposed to kill, Pablo?
What was the deal with tiffany? Which married man whas she thinking about, Dan? If so, why? And what was Dan's surprise for her secretary?
I know all these can't get into a 300 word story, but i'm just really intrigued to know the stories behind the stories.
The lady with the laptop is part of the anti-terrorist brigade. She has a licence to kill. The cork popping made her spring into action against the suspect.
Pablo's choice was to run with the money, and risk being killed - or to hand it to his boss the Godfather. When he heard the pop he chose to run.
Tiffany does not know if she wants to love a married man. She dresses so sexily for him. She thinks the lady with the laptop might be the wife. When the laptop lady leaps up Tiffany is frightened and runs away.
Dan is Tiffany's boss. She is his secretary. He is married to someone else. He is Tiffany's her lover.
Dan's surprise for Tiffany was the champagne.
Everyone was very tense. When the Champagne cork popped it sounded like a gun and everyone sprang into action.
Okaaay Tiffany was Dan's secretary!! That clears things quite a bit for me!! Thanks.
Very good story fiction, susan I kill Okwasi unintentionally, very good your imagination to write your stories, I congratulate you friend, good initiative to encourage users to create stories with some action and also suspense for the next good idea, Hahaha Regards .
The killing was intentional. Susan is part of the anti-terrorist squad with licence to kill. She is there because they had a tip-off about the bomb.
Exactly, although it was with all intentions, the shot was more effective due to its fall motive of the pop of the sound of the bottle of champagne. hahaha, what a bloody scene but it seems like a good movie action. hahaha
your stories are excellent, you have to win in your competition :)
in fact, it's very good that you create such good initiatives and support all participants, but also show us an example. It is worthy of praise.
Although I'm still a beginner here, I want to say my opinion that such users as you, make this platform much more interesting. You unite us with one goal and it's very cool.
This story is an enthralling yet compact set of interrelated storylines. I can hardly believe that it's just 299 words. With the description of each character, at the end I feel like I know them quite personally. I loved how the the internal conflict of each character finally escalates in the end. I didn't expect Okwasi to be a potential suicide bomber. Quite a twist there.
Thanks so much. I guess I could have made a 300 page book with pretty much the same storylines. 1 character per chapter and they all come together at the end.
Absolutely! It can be Pulp Fiction-esque, with multiple storylines and an unconventional narration where all the knots get tied together in the end. Would love to read what more you can do with a larger word limit.
You know I'm still surprised how you managed to bring about five or six characters into this story and manage to make sense out of it with just 300 words. You're a genius with your words.
So Dan's romantic moves to Tiffany eventually caused more harm than surprise at the end of the day.
Who would have thought a cork popping could cause such mayhem and change so many people’s lives.
I came back here to re-read this fascinating story.
To be honest, at the first reading I did not understand some details , so I did not comment.
But now all the details of this exciting story are clear to me!
It's amazing) In such a small story, there are so many plot lines and characters, I like all of them, especially beautiful Tiffany in her miniskirt, not knowing about the surprise of her lover Dan and waiting for him.
And I love how the events developed after the Champagne cork had popped!
All the plot lines received their reasonable completion, though the end is very unexpected)
Dear @swissclive, please write something else! You have such a wonderful talent, let people to enjoy your stories more. We really want to hear more of your stories!
And what about a new contest? It's eagerly anticipated by many users!
I will write another story when the inspiration grabs me!