RE: The Shadows of Stars (Short Story)
Hi @titus-andronicus. It’s good that you interpreted your own story, because I understood little. I’m not sure it would qualify as a fictional story, as I could not see the plot. I felt is was more like a poem or maybe some existenstialist prose.
There were also some puzzling expressions: “the throbbing heat of the rain”. I would not use the word “throbbing” except maybe in the context of a certain part of a man’s anatomy when filled with lust. And “heat” - the same thing. I have never encountered hot rain, but maybe that’s normal in your country?
“Lush grasses” “He subdues the hazy overgrowth, breaking the comforting canopy”
These words give it some sexual overtones. Maybe that was your intention. No problem if it was, but i would say not suitable for kids.
Upvoted
Oh, I didn't mean it that way! The descriptions of "heat" and "lush" were to describe the setting--in savannas, summer storms are quite common and the rain is warm. "Throbbing" refers to the vitality of the woman and the thrumming of the rain on the ground. For the overgrowth, I was referring to the light invading her privacy.
Thank you for reading @swissclive! This was a fun exercise!
LOL. Maybe you should write “steamy” novels, or should I say “steemy” novels?
Haha, that's not too bad of an idea! I don't know how that kind of material might be received here, though.