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RE: The Betrayal

in #story-300words7 years ago (edited)

Thanks for the effort @gisco.

I have read your story.
And i think you could have done better with the plot construction.

To make for an interesting read, always make sure to give your story, any story for that matter, some "action"!!

Indeed, the cheat card for a short story, due to a word ceiling/limit, is to construct a plot around the 'main action'. I try to do this all the time, and it seems to work for my stories. You might want to try.

One particular way yours could have played out is around that moment when Marie catches Lucy with Tim in bed

The drama of that moment, had you somehow delved into it, but especially the mystery leading to it, had you made it a lot more suspenseful, would have made your story a more interesting read.

But you narrate well. I am sure you will improve more. Thanks

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