Whoopass 5 -- Steem Wars

Not so long ago, in a galaxy much too close for comfort, a Writers’ Block project called “Steem Wars” launched to mediocre fanfare and many nervous giggles. Within seconds of the opening announcement, crews began to scramble. Voyagers from all corners of the galaxy snuffled to alert, blew dust off their flux capacitors or whatever hoodingle they use to power space travel, and reported for duty.

Captain Constants Trickle was no different. Well, that’s a lie. Capn Trickle is about as “different” as they come, and that’s actually a euphemism. Better words might be “odd,” or “bizarre,” or even “batshit crazy,” but we won’t go there. Wait—we just did.

Moving right along – we’ll join Capn Trickle as she hearkens to the call of Dr. Muxx. Let the games begin!

Journal Entry 35-2.06180 transcribed/edited

Dr. Muxx has lost his mind.

Okay, he never had a mind to begin with, but whatever he used to connect the dots quit connecting a long time ago. He wants us to go where? Whoopass 5? Never heard of it. Xripaq leaders, however, I do know. I’d rather piss on a hot wire than meet with a delegation of those wankers.

“The Steem does not know why, but it is vital to our survival,” he said.

Probably more vital to the survival of somebody’s wallet. It’s always about money.

I suppose I should call a meeting. Tolp finally dragged his sandbagging ass on board, and Fixit is in the engine room making goo-goo eyes at the capacitor. The Princess will rejoin us shortly, and that means we’re all set.

I keep looking at this message from Laegur—some guy with fare to Paupakit. Now, that’s a haul. What he’s offering would pay fuel and overhead, plus salary for the crew and restock the grocery holds.

On one hand there’s Whoopass. On the other is Laegur. No contest, really. Sorry, Muxx. Laegur wins. My fat anarcho-capitalist ass is all over this one. I’ll put it to the crew and see what they think, but it’s just a gesture. Steem can kiss my ass. I’m headed my own direction to pick up somebody whose last name used to be a state in North America and whose first name is a conjugate of wild sex in a horizontal position. I wonder if it’s an alias or just wishful thinking.

Lain Dakota, your number came up, baby. See you in a week.

images of 3D renders and the renders themselves are the original work of rhondak