in order to maintain the relationship

No one owes anyone anything, except perhaps their children, but you define how whatever you owe them looks to you. Food and shelter can look like a cabin in the woods and foraging or it could look like a low income apartment begging the government to provide for you or anything in between. Change the definitions of what it takes to maintain the relationship. Spend time with family until it gets toxic and then move on for a while. I'm dealing with that personally so I know it isn't always easy, but I'm done stressing myself out worrying about other people that aren't taking care of themselves. I don't have children though, so I cannot really speak in that regard.