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RE: introducing : quantum kate and request ...
how can i get angry with myself without external factors being responsible
External factors are never responsible for how you feel. Only you are responsible for how you feel. You only let your self get angry about external factors :)
Nobody and nothing but you, control how you feel.
So why couldn't you be angry at you? Its only you who could decide that.
that would assume i am allmighty and nothing outside me can phase me ?
i beg to differ. or
one can not cure a darkness in the heart by moving it from one place to another
but what if the darkness is the place ?
getting up after being knocked down is one thing but thinking you are in control ? that's something completely different , i think the illusion of being in control is way more dangerous than the realization that you are not. Saves a lot of energy trying to fight off things beyond control, like
external factors :p
i think you're talking about enlightenment-level but i fear i'm far from buddha
but i DO have the power of speech,
sometimes, in between split-seconds of insanity induced
by being stretched too thin for too long,
although that makes it impossible to push me over the edge since ive been living there since i became the me i am now (and i dont now who that is, it's certainly not any of the ones i was but all of those are part of me)
the power to enchant and dazzle, like an aD&D stun spell and by the time it clears i'm gone
sometimes i even speak in tongues , not biblical(or other same type) metafors
at least that's the impression i get when i see peoples reactions
No, it just means that you are in control of yourself. If you get angry about something, it is because you let yourself be that way. Outside factors do not determine you, only you do.
how about meteor impact
as a metafor
do you think that would control what you become ?
i mean i think i get what you aim at there like that ancient german song "die gedanken sind frei"
but basically if you CHOOSE to not step aside for a moving train it will be the last choice you make so even if you can think what you want external forces ARE able to control your actions (unless you're suicidal in that extreme case)
and more , i think the brain is the greatest liar of all, it will tell the body whatever it has to, which leaves the questions who is in control ? you or the brain ?
I did not say that outside forces can't influence you, they just aren't in control of your emotions. Emotional and physical you are two separate yous :)