What is real scientific story of Adam and Eve.

Contrary to popular’s belief, he looks very different from the pictures of the perfect man we’ve all grown up believing. But before we see Adam, we should first meet his parents - which everyone said to be God.

Then this is what God looks like, right here.

He is a single-celled (Unicellular) organism that first appeared on Earth 3–4 billion years ago. He has traveled far from the outer most reaches of space, where time is just a silly concept. And the skies were then suddenly alighted with his and his angels’ arrival through celestial, burning chariots.

The chariots arrive by the thousands, bombarding the surface of our uninhabitable and insignificantly young planet in comparison to the Universe.

The non-believers called it the: ‘Late Heavy Bombardment’. But we know better, it was his arrival on Earth, and it was marked with fire and power from Heaven.

But gradually, the Earth absorbed this immense energy, and over millions of years, cooled down, and the big volcanoes and streams of Lava stopped.

With his chariots and angels, God brought our planet water. It was the greatest flood of all when the first bout of rain hammered down the scorching surface, and from there, that life began to exist.

God woke up from his long slumber, and he entreated himself with chemical soups released from deep inside the Earth’s innards - served faithfully by the planet itself from gratitude for giving it water.

And he liked the soups so much he thanked the planet by creating more of himself. By replicating his Godly essence through a series of extremely complicated magic that only He can do - which the non-believers today called with utmost ignorance ‘DNA’ and ‘Asexual Reproduction’ - over and over and over again, he created billions of copies of himself - from himself alone.

See, God can actually make children while being a virgin. You silly ‘Scientists’ who argue about it being impossible just do not understand Him.

Oh and the soups He ate back then are still being served underwater by volcanoes. Though only He can eat it. If you try you’d probably choke to dead.

Silly mortals.

Anyway, He did this for a long time. The replicas of Him finally developed a new form of magic which is still being practiced today, called something along the line of: ‘Photosynthesis’ and He converted our atmosphere from the toxicity it once was to a clear blue - filled with life-giving miasma called ‘Oxygen’.

God gave us air.

His essences flourish in the deep water so much an explosion happen. But it wasn’t a deadly one, no, it was an explosion of life. Called the ‘Cambrian Explosion’ - bugs and algaes and stuffs were everywhere.

He was kind of bored so he decided to make worms that look suspiciously like penises just for fun.

We can never decode God’s wills, after all. Maybe he was predicting that one day our children will draw dicks on each others’ clothes, skins, and homework.

In that case, his prediction is ten times more accurate than Nostradamus.

But just like us, God grows.

Over millions of years, he continuously change form and become better versions of himself. From v0.1 of eating chemical soups, to v8000000.1 of converting the Sun’s energy to power himself.

Now he has multiple brains, this form is called: ‘Multicellular’. A replica of himself in this form has like … three brains, but they’re so small the replicas probably didn’t even know what they’re doing with their lives.

There were still replicas out there with simpler forms like ‘Archae’ still with one brain. And ‘Eukaryote’, who decided that living as a piece of living Jell-O is a better way of life.

After a while, Adam and Eve appeared.

Adam was a lonely Son of God - a multi-cellular speck trying to find the way around in this vast world. His level is relatively high, he actually has a pretty efficient entrails.

One day he found an apple.

It looks something like this.

God told him: ‘Son, don’t eat that. It’s going to give you a bad stomach.’

Adam was curious. After all, he only has like … one and a half brain or so (The other was still developing) while his Father got dozens of them in his Holy body.

He ate it. And it really did change him. In fact, it changed him so much, he mutated into a completely different thing and his essence - DNA - got broken in several pieces in a peculiar way that no replicas have ever done before.

This is called ‘Transduction’: The DNA of the ‘Apple’ he ate - another organism - has been absorbed into him, and it has messed with his DNA as well.

‘Son, you effed up. Get outta here, you’re not welcomed anymore. You’re not one of us now.’

Therefore, he was kicked out of Heaven - he didn’t get to play with his kinds anymore, since he has now became different. So he wandered away in the vast seas of the world.

One day, he met Eve.

Eve was the most beautiful thing he ever laid upon. So he touched her a bit, and his DNA transferred to her through conjugation.

When Eve made more of herself - like, she multiplied herself faster than a fuckin’ calculator, she accidentally spread this new strand of mutated DNA around.

Her children touched more people and made more of themselves. Adam and Eve’s children evolved through millions of generations by touching more people and had managed to fuck probably the entire Holy Kingdom by then, until one day, they grow big enough to become edgy teenage fishes with sharp teeth and all sorts of latest evolutionary features.

And then they left home and went to col… - I mean, land.

They decided that land is nice, so they resettled there, too. But they still like home, so they became amphibians, instead.

Generations later, they left home for good and thrived on lands.

After an extinction event that killed like … a whole bunch of them. They repopulated, re-evolved and became the dinosaurs.

The dinosaurs all died off again after a celestial bus the size of Mt. Everest accidentally lost its track and slam into Earth. Which is why please don’t let God takes the wheel. Last time he did, he managed to wipe nearly everything from the face of the Earth.

The site now looks like this.

And from the ashes rose the mammals with boobs that would’ve put Nicki Minaj to shame.

One of these mammals one day learned how to walk, and they grew a bigger brain. There’s only one brain, though, but this one was bigger than the brain of the original God for a gazillion times.

They eat a lot, and they also have sex a lot.

Like, a lot.

They have so much sex to the point there are now 8 billions of them on Earth, and they’re still continuing to have sex. In a single second, hundreds of couples out there are having sex, and even though there are now so many of them they have virtually no land left to live, they still have sex.

And these sex-crazed animals are called humans.

They’re really smart. Smarter than anything else on Earth and in the general vicinity of a couple hundred thousands light years so far. But apparently, they have yet to learn the concept of birth control quite effectively.

And they were not created by two people having sex, no.

The two people having sex to create more people were created by two microscopic things with undeveloped brains that accidentally create intelligence in a freak accident.

Earth is now so populated that they even want to go to different planets to have more sex. See, their vehicles to get there even looks like a penis.

Oooh… so THAT’S why He made penis-like worms.

So quickly to recap, no, I don’t believe in Adam and Eve story. They would have to go into some hardcore incest relationship to make that happen. After all, they’re alleged to be created by the same guy.

And even if they create healthy children in the first generation, their children - without no one else to have sex with - also need to have sex with each others to shoot out more babies.

It will be a never-ending circle of incest, and we all know how bad incest is to our genetic and health.

If it’s the story above then yea, I do believe in Adam and Eve.