RE: Prescribing a symptom - or how doing exactly what has become a problem, can help the problem. Huh?
My great thanx to you, @vimukthi - I appreciate a lot your openness. It takes time to say something personal and to decide what it could be.
I imagine you can be tough on people who deal with you :) some do like that, others don't, I assume. During my life I started to honor the challenge even though it didn't came instantly that I thought that way. Often later on. Still the case in most times. But learning :)
Generally my first reaction to anything is trying to ideologically break it. If it breaks, I've got something better. If it doesn't break, I've found something better.
Very profound, yes really.... I read it twice to understand. Or so I think. That's why I give you my interpretation:
You mean dissolving an ideology (because ideologies are difficult or problematic between people): then the viewpoint in the other was not really "true" - and it wasn't dramatic to do that. And if your interlocutor's point of view was authentic, have you received a useful lesson for yourself? Did I get that right?
Are you and your friend back to normal? Did he got it that you were internally enjoying the argument? I ask because people can get really offended by that. Not easy to navigate through emotions.
So far I haven't tried paradoxical intervention on myself. Interesting thought, though ...
It's like the movie Watchmen(The greatest superhero movie ever IMO). The reaction is very polarizing. The same goes for my looks. People either love it or hate it; not much middle ground.
You did get it right. But my teenage self was thinking more on the lines of diamonds and cybersecurity penetration tests (white hat hacking). Rub some graphite on paper and graphite breaks. Rub a sharp diamond on any other natural substance and the substance breaks.
To check the security of a computer network the the ones who want to protect it hacks first with all their might and try to figure out all the flaws within the system.
We were normal the moment we closed the fight. It's like a switch really. You can turn it on and off. I don't start arguments for fun. It was she who was bored and started the fighting every time it happened. I don't know whether she knew it at the time. She certainly knows that nothing can really make me feel down or depressed (I've never scored anything above zero neuroticism for and anything below 100 for assertiveness on the few online tests I've done.)
I self-discovered the process you describe by trying it on myself. I had few bad days and I wanted to really solve my problems once and for all. That's how I came up with Psycho-Engineering. I spend too much time alone and that time is well spend deconstructing myself. It's a lot like trying to make sense of computer code. When you understand enough, you can change it. It's like genetic engineering but for your mind. Hence the name Psycho-Engineering.
You seem well experienced. So you can use paradoxical intervention on yourself without making a mess. It'll really help you to develop psychologically and spiritually.