RE: How to Cope with Stress (Part 2)
This post has all the ingredients that, in my opinion, deliver a great read to the audience Valeria. It is straight-forward , it adds valuable and practical information to the audience, and it gives us direction. Further, in this kind of discussion I also think it is paramount to invite people to engage in reevaluation. And you did that very subtly and tastefully.
I used to believe that with age we naturally get "wiser"; nowadays, I suspect I misunderstood being wiser with being experienced. And I came to that realization as I come across more, and more people in their late 50's, 60's, and 70's who still react and interact with others and their environment pretty much as they did when they were much younger.
I suppose our default, in a general way, is to go about life without stopping to think about ourselves, our thought processes and behaviours. Life is simply too busy for that. In the occasion that we finally do it, we do it judgmentally.
Patience and kindness are definitely fundamental tools with which we need to equip ourselves to embark on the journey towards self-evaluation and, consequently, adaptive coping strategies. After all, who doesn't want to be a super-granny? 🙃
I had the very same experience with that issue. I was so surprised when I met the concept of "biological age" and "psychological age". Then everything just fell into the right place. I could explain to myself the inadequate behaviors some people engaged with. Maturity is never a matter of age. I firmly believe that maturity is also a matter of conscious never-ending efforts.
I never thought of it in this way. But it makes a lot of sense.
I couldn't agree more. Our "default settings" are definitely to be judgmental toward ourselves and others. It takes quite a training and self-control to avoid it and be more open-minded and accepting.
Well, I suggest we make a "Super-Granny" club :D
Thank you for your wonderful comment, dear @abigail-dantes! And thank you a lot for your encouraging words!
I feel addressed by your answer here and want to tell you that I perceive it similar.
It definitely is my "default" in many occasions ... I decided to reduce them and be more kind towards myself and others. I chose on having more time and being less busy. Difficult but possible! :)
Oh boy, "kindness" is such a big word ... experiencing it, yes that we can make true.
You said:
Doesn't it matter what you want to see and what you don't want to see and how much you try to discover a surprising potential in an elder? Admittedly, I feel (if I'm not in a good mood myself) that instead of turning to what shaped an old person, I'm more inclined to see him in a way that he didn't learn anything after all. I don't know why this kind of "masochistic joy" to find this confirmed unwise in the other than just the other way around.
What about letting this misunderstanding of yours nevertheless be true as just to add the term "potentiality" for wisdom in there? As life experience is a matter of fact - the older you become the more is adding onto your realm of experiences.
Isn't there also the more fascinating and learning potential in those who give one a living example of having gained wisdom throughout their lives - no matter how many of them run around? To see that as one box which is constantly filled with those experiences and besides this box another one, which, if you open up to it and look into it, gifts you with what is wise and offers itself for your well being, which leaves you with inspiration as a consequence that you looked inside?
The other box, which of course also stands open but one glance and you see that nothing new is offering there. Yet you catch yourself and others to constantly look into it nevertheless and not liking it. ... 😝
I assume every one of us - you, me and the rest of the universe - would like to be asked and encouraged to rummage into those experiences which we found of great inspiration and also intelligent acting to then give this examples to the one who asks as a friend. 🌀
❤
What a succinct guide to writing a worthwhile post. I went to sleep last night a bit discombobulated because I couldn't get a focus on a post. I started to work on another post and was still disorganized. Then, in your comment, I found a formula for writing a worthwhile post: Direct speech, useful information, and a hint about how to move forward. Thanks @abigail-dantes!
As for changing while we age--I think it's important for growth of any kind to leave our comfort zone. Habit is the enemy of growth. We won't change unless we seek change. In some cases life circumstances impose change. An example: sometimes when people survive a terrible illness, they speak about how the experienced forced them to reevaluate the way they live and view life.
As for using patience and kindness (I'll add forgiveness), I think sometimes it's harder to apply to ourselves than to others.
And the goal of being super-granny--nothing more important than that :)
Oh, What a most wonderful way to finish my day in the office : reading your always heart-warming words! 😍 It is incredibly humbling to hear that you found guidance in my comment to get your work going. My Gosh ...
YES: 'We won't change unless we seek change', although, for that to happen we first need to acknowledge that our ways are not really working for us, or for those we love. For that realization to take place, humility is paramount. But humility is very scarce these days, and like you explained, it mostly emerges when something extreme happens (eg. an illness, an accident).
Forgiveness is a very, very important addition to that list. Several studies point to how essential this process is in our lives for subjective well-being to be maintained.
The sun is setting over here. It has been a beautiful, fresh day. The first of my favorite month of the year :) So, I better go outside now to appreciate the blue sky for a little while. I will be thinking of you for a while and sending you much love from across the ocean ❤ :)
🌄🎔