Reading your post reminded me of my time in Japan, and the moment I understood WHY they don't want foreigners to learn to speak Japanese: It's because there is a lot more to communication than just the language. And even if a foreigner speaks it correctly, they most likely do not know how to play their roles correctly... except for the role of a gaijin, which excludes speaking Japanese.
But I fully agree, an essential component for happiness is making a connection with someone. And this connection is empathy.