I want to be a robot again. How on earth do humans human?
Emotions are weird, why did I learn to feel them?
My wife has called me a robot for years. And I totally understood why. I never used to feel emotions like normal humans do. And I rarely understood why humans were acting the way they did when they got all emotional about some trivial (or even not so trivial) thing.
When something happened in my life that I wasn't fond of, I'd simply do whatever was required to address the issue and move on. I wouldn't dwell on "how it made me felt". In fact, if the problem was dealt with, I would typically forget that what ever had occurred took place and would move on.
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And buying a gym had one particularly odd consequence. All of a sudden I was exposed to a wide range of humans and their various human related issues and feelings. People started telling me their life stories and problems and expected me to have some form of response that sounded human like.
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And by being exposed to these strange aspects of human life, I started to understand humans better and experience these odd things called emotions myself. And my wife started noticing that I was becoming some what less robotic. She actually started to like the fact that I was becoming more human and understanding these emotion things slightly better.
I was experiencing this thing called empathy as a result of talking to humans about their lives and life related problems. And through learning what this empathy thing was, I was also personally experiencing a wider range of emotions that I really wasn't used to experiencing.
My business had been performing poorly for roughly 12 months so I needed to decide whether or not the business was worth saving, or if I should simply go back to my old career. Before owning a gym I worked in the mining industry as an environmental scientist. I am very fortunate that this career pays well, so recovering from a failed business wouldn't be too difficult.
So for the past few months, I have been trying to sell my business and find employment again. And this past Monday I not only signed the offer documents for a new position in the mining industry, but I also received a formal offer for the purchase of my business. In fact both of these things were completed within the same hour.
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And this is where the title of this post begins to make sense: Signing the letter of offer for my new role brought with it an extreme sense of relief and happiness. The position is one that I had been really hoping to be offered. And I had worked extremely hard to impress my new employer. So setting a start date and reviewing the employment documentation brought with it a great sense of happiness, relief, pride and excitement.
But signing the formal offer for the sale of my business brought with it a great feeling of sadness along with some regret. I've worked so hard on this business for the past 3 years. And further to that, I have built an amazing community within this gym. The members are all so warm and friendly, and a lot of fun to spend time with. And after recruiting Personal Trainers for the past 3 years, I have finally built a team of trainers who are friendly, intelligent and hard working.
So, during that hour of signing paperwork, I felt a the bizarre sensation of being both extremely happy and incredibly sad all at the same time. What a confusing sensation. Is this what being human feels like? I don't like it. Can I go back to being a robot?
Something tells me that I can't.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : https://cryptonbrews.xopus.io/2018/10/18/i-want-to-be-a-robot-again-how-on-earth-do-humans-human/
Empathy is a bitch. I spend a lot of my working life trying to suppress my emotions because they get in the way. But then being a robot isn't much fun either. If only there was an on/off switch :)
The only time that I found that switch was back when my role included killing injured wildlife.
I found that I could flick a switch in my mind that would let me feel nothing for a the time needed to pull the trigger. Not everyone could do it though, there were plenty of people in roles like mine that couldn't kill any animal, no matter the severity of its injuries.
I completely hear you. How often I wish I could just turn the emotion chip off. Why Data ever wanted to feel them is beyond me.
I’m still quite confused as well. Getting back into regular employment seems to be helping my brain some what though.
Sorry you're having trouble adapting to having more emotions. The trick is to try not to let them get too haywire XD they're otherwise pretty awesome for creativity :D
Yay for successfully getting new job and successfully selling business :D
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What is this creativity thing you speak of? I was kind of over exaggerating my robotic nature. I don't really mind feeling things. But owning this business has definitely forced me to learn to show empathy and understand a broader range of emotions.
I'm pretty stoked to be starting this new role next week. I never thought I'd be so excited about going back to employment again. I suppose the prospect of receiving a regular pay check is a nice thought.
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Sorry you're having trouble adapting to having more emotions. The trick is to try not to let them get too haywire XD they're otherwise pretty awesome for creativity :D
Yay for successfully getting new job and successfully selling business :D
Posted using Partiko Android
Congratulations on signing the paperwork on your new job, and on the business. It's a mix of emotions with both in play at the same time, but you know it's for the best. It also doesn't mean some other opportunity won't come along that will actually be better. At this point, though, full speed ahead with work.
I would have loved to have sold my business to someone, so at the very least, you're saved that regret. For whatever consolation it serves. And now nearly six years removed, I can say I don't miss it. The money I was making, yes, I miss that. The deadlines each week, wondering if we got something wrong in a story, dealing with complaints and worrying about how long it all could last? Don't miss it. :)
Thanks mate. My new focus will be on building passive or mostly passive income streams. I don't think I want to step back into business again. Unless it was a solely online business that has potential to turn into a semi-passive operation.
Your fortunate that you get to miss the money. I haven't experienced what money is like for a couple of years now. It's a shame that you couldn't sell your business. I'm sure you would have received a decent price for it if you could have sold it. There's a lot to say about owning something and being responsible for every thing that could go wrong or right with a business. I don't think I'll miss that. Employees really don't know how good they have it. Turn up, go home, get paid. Sounds nice.
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hi @mazzle
hahaha it seem that we have something in common! :D
I love reading this post :) Put a smile on my face. Big time. thx for sharing your life experience.
Yours
piotr