Tips: How to act against the disrespectful behavior of your teenager?

One of the most difficult problems for parents is to observe how their child gradually becomes a rude and sarcastic teenager. A teenage boy can sometimes bring his parents to the edge of the abyss, but if he tries to maintain a peaceful environment within the walls of his home, then he needs to make an iron plan to punish the bad and encourage good behavior. To face the disrespectful attitude of your child, try not to feel frustrated, but simply follow the advice of this post.

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Instant resolution of the situation

Do not raise your voice.

A scream for a teenager, no matter how meritorious, only exacerbates bad behavior. After scolding a child, he may feel better for a while, but without working to improve his behavior, he will not achieve much. No matter how hard it is for you, even if the teenager screams at you, do not let yourself raise your voice in response to it.

SourceThe father should teach the adolescent to behave calmly. There are children who get used to raising their voices; but this must be eradicated even before you begin to consider this as acceptable behavior.

If such behavior is relatively recent, understand and explain to the child why the screaming did not help: "I understand that he is upset, but shouting at someone does not help anything.

If a teenager raises his voice for the first time, he should say: "I think you should not raise your voice, because even though I am upset, I do not raise my voice and I expect the same from you".

If rude behavior has already become a habit for the adolescent, with confidence, establish the limits of acceptable behavior: "I do not know what motivates your sarcastic attitude with me, after all, I am your mother, and you must correct your tone of voice, so you must stop screaming, before duplicating your punishment ".

Think before you talk.

Each person faces offensive words, which he later regrets. Take a few seconds to face a frustrated reaction or momentary anger before responding to the child. Teens have trouble controlling their emotions, but you, as an adult and as a parent, should be careful when talking.

SourceDo not think how to explain that you are upset. Instead, focus on what you can say that will lead to the adolescent's desired behavior.

Breath deeply

Some deep breaths normalize your breathing and your heart rate. Consciously reducing the degree of manifestation of irritation symptoms, you adjust to a more relaxed line of thought. It will also be useful to count to ten, but this technique will require more time to take control.

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Try to stay away from the situation.

If your reactions are so strong that deep breathing and counting do not help, you should postpone the conversation with a teenager. To relax, participate in something that allows you to eliminate excess stress: read a book, start knitting, prepare food, do something that will make you feel better.

SourceYou can also use the following sentence: "I love you very much, but I think we have to rest for fifteen minutes before continuing this conversation."

Do not resume the conversation until both calm your emotions.

Do not use sentences of judgment.

Instead of attacking the teenager for his bad attitude towards you, try to explain how his words and actions complicate the lives of others, including you. For example, try using the following phrases.

SourceInstead of saying "you're rude to me", say: "I feel bad when you talk to me like that."
Instead of the phrase "you must respect your father / mother", say: "Your father / mother now has a difficult period".

Learn to anticipate problem periods.

Pay attention to situations that lead to aggravation of adolescent behavior. For example, you may be more irritable immediately after school, but you may be calmer after a snack or a short break. In addition, a teenager may behave more heavily under a load of some school activity or as a result of a fight with a friend or girlfriend.

SourceBy knowing the situations that lead to the worst behavior of the child, you can choose between giving the teenager more freedom in such situations or taking proactive measures to reduce stress.
Proactive measures will facilitate the child's life. Give him a snack ready in the kitchen so he can eat after school, help prepare lessons and so on.

Do not take what the child says personally.

Although it is difficult for you to see how your child becomes an aggressive teenager, you must remember that, to some extent, your rude phrases have little to do with you. From early adolescence (12-14 years), the child already realizes that adults, including parents, are not perfect.

SourceThe moment the child tries to come to an agreement with the fact that his parents are ordinary people, and not according to what they presented him before, they usually stagnate intermittently until he learns to communicate with you as an adult.

Remember that problems do not only concern your child. Communicate with the parents of other adolescents, then you will understand that, up to a point, all adolescents have common problems with behavior.

Change the point of view about the child's behavior.

The bad behavior of the child always distances parents from them, in such a situation it is very difficult to overcome their frustrated feelings sufficiently justified.

SourceHowever, it will be much easier for you to stay calm if you try to see the situation from a teenager's point of view. Think about your own period of growth: the probability is that you have also said things offensive to parents. To understand the child's point of view, it will be useful to remember the following facts.

The brain of a teenager develops in a way that allows him for the first time to have a completely new view of abstract concepts.

Without the wisdom that comes with the years, and without the cognitive ability to eliminate some of the inferences to which the adolescent is driven by his abstract thinking, everything around him seems unfair.

That's why a teenager is incredibly frustrated with things that seem completely insignificant from an adult's point of view. In any case, remember that in adolescence, the brain of the child continues to develop important cognitive functions, which, in the end, will allow him to understand the line of thought of an adult.

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