TEACHER ROOM: The conflict between the students - (story).

We know that the biggest problem that brings us to our classrooms is the conflict between the students, it is time for us to apply strategies that help them to face this problem that can lead them later to great confrontations outside the classroom.

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These are some examples of conflict resolution programs, so that the most urgent problems of relationship and coexistence, such as aggression, violence, xenophobia or prejudice, have a truly educational focus and avoid instead of repressing.

These strategies are three:

• Understand the conflict.
• Reduce the conflict.
• Solve the conflict.

These strategies work as three major movements that are mutually implied, and are integrated into a perfectly articulated sequence in which each of them is the prerequisite of the other and contributes with all of them to the solution of conflicts in a non-violent way.

The program has a clear cognitive orientation, highlighting the processes involved in the solution of non-violent conflict. In this sense, the program has balanced the two essential elements of all intervention, content and educational process, in a difficult but articulated integration of the two, since both subjects, what to learn and how to learn, are equally necessary.

This program highlights the role of the student who can actively participate in the process of acquiring their knowledge and social skills, and take responsibility for it, according to their ability and pace of learning.

The role of the teacher is that of mediator, therefore, never invades the field of the student, but will be limited to presenting the informative material, exemplifying social behavior and providing adequate conditions for the student to reflect, evaluate and transfer, more beyond the school context, knowledge and skills acquired.

Understand the conflict

As explained Beltran and Carbonell (1999), in addition to other possibilities to understand the conflict, one of the most relevant aspects is to analyze its components and dimensions. All conflicts have multiple dimensions, among which we can point out: subject, content, relationships, variable and process.

The subjects of the conflict are the people involved in it. In this sense, the conflict can be: internal (within oneself), interpersonal (within a group: institutions or organizations that share a specific role or activity).

The content refers to the topic or issue of the conflict. There are many types of content: resources (people and groups of people competing for the same resources), values (people who have different beliefs about family, culture and religion) and needs (all people want respect, love, approval, friendship and opportunities Develop and succeed When these needs are not met, a conflict arises between individuals.

What really matters is knowing that the actions of one person or group seriously impact the others involved in the conflict, how well they know each other or parts, or whether the parties are of different cultures and one does not know much about the other.

In general, the longer the conflict lasts, the more intense and complex it becomes and the more difficult it is to resolve. It may happen, however, that a point is reached where the parties are so tired of fighting that they finally try to come to a solution.

Conflicts can be difficult to solve when there is little or no pressure to address them. If nobody inside or outside perceives that it is serious enough to solve it, it is likely that the situation does not change.

Reduce the conflict

To solve a conflict it is not enough to know its nature, value, dimensions or probable styles of response. It is necessary to know and apply timely and effective rules that lead to some kind of timely solution. It is not always necessary and timely to approach the conflict from the perspective. Sometimes, the conflict is diluted by letting it cool down, identifying the positions and interests of the contestants, sending clear and precise messages or simply sharing in solidarity.

One of the most important steps that helps to reduce conflicts is the deep understanding of the positions taken by each of the people involved in the conflict. One thing is what the contenders say, the positions they hold and another very different and quite another is what justifies those positions.

That is why it is convenient to distinguish between what we call demands and needs. The demands or positions, represent what each person has firmly in each conflict situation. It is what everyone wants, often incompatible with what the other person wants. Needs, also called interests, are the reasons that justify those demands.

As long as the contestants insist on addressing the demands or positions, they will hardly reach the solution, because they will often be confronted. The important thing is to identify the needs and interests that underlie apparent demands.

The strategies are intended to help students identify demands and needs within the conflict, reconcile them with each other and translate negative needs into positive language.

Solve the conflict

The solution to the conflict aims to save goals and relationships. And this is only possible in a strategic climate in which all people in conflict win, that is, in a solution technically called "win-win".

There are many situations in life in which the win-win solution, which makes it possible to achieve the underlying interests and needs of all the parties involved, is the only effective one. All too often we assume that one party must win and the other must lose, or that both must yield something and, therefore, no one earns anything that he hoped to earn. This happens because the conflict is seen as a debate.

Some conflicts end in that way, in what we call a win-lose solution. And it is possible that no person gets what they want, in which case the result is called a lose-lose solution. But it is also possible for both parties to obtain what they want or need.

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A well-known story exposed by Beltrán and Carbonell (1999) is that of two sisters who want the only orange in the kitchen: "I need the orange," says one. "I saw it first," says the other.

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• If one sister manages to keep the orange and the other does not, we have a win-lose solution. If the apparent solution of dividing the orange in half is the result of losing-losing, both sisters are disappointed or injured, because neither party is sufficient for what they need.
• However, both parties stop discussing for a while to explore the situation, and discover that they can make a solution work for both parties, both can get what they need from a simple orange, because they have discovered that one of them he wants to eat the orange and while the other one needs the skin to flavor an iced cake.
• In a situation of conflict it is important, then, as we have already pointed out repeatedly, to make the distinction between needs and positions. When we are able to separate positions and demands from current needs, we can achieve beneficial solutions for all. In the case of the orange, the sisters were able to separate the demand "I have to have the orange" from their real needs "I need the skin", which allows them to obtain what they need.

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The win-win approach in negotiation helps identify and separate needs and positions, making a distinction between what we say we want and our reasons for wanting it.

It is important to keep in mind that good communication is essential for the solution of conflicts, in terms of collaboration, it is the ideal strategy. Although the mechanisms or steps of the strategy can be many, depending on the conditions of the people.

The essential steps of the solution are:

1.Control emotions.
2.Plantear the problem to discuss.
3.Identify the deep reasons.
4.Change the perspectives.
5.Establish the agreement.
6.Comply with the agreement.

Reference:
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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://deisip67.vornix.blog/2018/09/04/teacher-room-the-conflict-between-the-students-story/

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