Sometimes, The Act Of Forgiving Alone Is Enough
I had a girlfriend whom I was very much in love with.
I had ideas of marrying her.
At the end, she disappeared on me. She simply stopped replying my messages when things were going to shit.
I had to let it go there and then. I was tired and decided to move on.
She resurfaced a month later, saying she still loved me and shit.
I rejected her. I was done. She got frantic and practically begged to be with me. I vehemently refused.
That was it. I was truly free and single again.
Fast forward a year later, I got a call when I was in my room. It was an unrecognizable number.
I picked up. It was her.
I was surprised I guess.
We chatted. She pretty much kept crying on the phone.
During the conversation, she asked me two things:
“Do you hate me?”
“Are you still angry with me?”
I thought about it for like five seconds, and then I replied that no, I wasn’t any of those things.
That answer was certainly a far cry from the typical, logical reactions my friends had when they knew what happened between me and her. Shouts of, “Fuck her bro! What she did was irresponsible!” and “She definitely cheated on you! Let her rot and regret!” were common.
But I forgave her anyway.
It defies logic.
It kind of doesn’t make sense.
It makes you feel like you helped someone who doesn’t deserve it and there’s no guarantee that they will care about you at all.
Yet, you do it anyway, because sometimes truly, the act of forgiveness alone is enough. When you carry it out, you know how capable you really are, and you know how happy you deserve to be.
It doesn’t matter if you didn’t get what you want. It doesn’t matter if there is no justice or punishment for the evil ones. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t go through quintessential stages of recovery or whatever.
You don’t need any of that.
You don’t even need to think about it.
You just do it.
And you’re set free.
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