The baby is here - new tasks for older siblings

When a baby is born into a family with a child, a time of excitement and change begins. Everything is about family growth, the older siblings feel quickly excluded, jealousy comes up. This development can be avoided if the "big ones" are involved and have a share in the new sibling.

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The more your big child feels involved in making decisions, the more it identifies with the sibling. It starts during pregnancy and continues when the baby is there. But do not put too much responsibility on your big child. It's not about babysitting or taking care, it's about being loved and being an equally important part of the family.

We get a baby

Even in pregnancy, the future siblings should be allowed to participate in what is coming. Listening to Mama's stomach, identifying the ultrasound photos, selecting baby clothes. Preparations for the baby, which take place before birth, are a favorite with most children. They feel integrated and feel they have a say. This provides for identification with the situation and also for anticipation. Especially with smaller children you can look at corresponding books in which the processes in Mama's stomach are explained and described. This will generate curiosity and anticipation: what will the baby look like? What will it do once it is there? The children ask themselves these questions and as the date of birth approaches, so does the tension. However, beware of painting your child's future in all too rosy colors! For all preparation and anticipation - the first time with the baby is exhausting for the whole family and a change and the older children have to put back first.

The baby is here - the first contact

When your big child sees his sibling for the first time, then a first physical contact should take place. If your child is old and safe enough, it can hug the baby, smaller children cuddle up to bed with Mama and have the opportunity to thoroughly greet and explore the newborn. Of course, make sure that it does not come to rudeness, but do not be overcautious, but trust your child to be sensitive and attentive. If your child feels like it, let it help where it's needed: depending on the age, the sibling may even be able to wrap it or at least help out. The bath time is also a good opportunity to involve the older child. Depending on the type of bath you choose, your child can watch or bathe.

Beware of excessive demands!

Especially when the big kids like to help, there is a danger that they will be overwhelmed with tasks and help. Surely an eight-year-old can supervise the baby for a short time or move it a little bit in the stroller. But that should be the exception. Large sibling children are not free babysitters or home helpers who need to relieve stressed parents. Because if the big child is all too often obliged to take care of the little, that can quickly lead to frustration and rejection. Voluntary offers of help should always be accepted by you or your wife, so that the great does not feel rejected.

The second child - a chance for fathers

It is important to let the big child participate in the small sibling. The positive attitude usually intensifies when you take advantage of the opportunity that now exists: you have the opportunity to develop a new and more intense relationship with your firstborn. This can start in pregnancy and relieves mom who has time for herself and the baby. Do something with your big child - it does not have to be anything special: go for a walk, shop or build a toy block tower. As a father, you promote very special skills in your child, which help him to grow up. In addition, you strengthen the bond between you and your child.

To integrate a second child into a family is a task shared by all. The more you hold together as a family and help together, the stronger the bonds between you, your partner and your children become.