Unfulfilled dreams

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Why is it that our children are being forced to play sports?

I’m sure involving children in sports has many positive benefits but pushing them into it can negatively impact their emotional development and damage your relationship with your child. Do you push harder or do you respect a child’s wishes? Will the child not stop voicing his or her needs to you? As a parent, the lines of communication must remain open, at all times. We should recognize their fears.

If it is not his dream, my belief is don’t push him.

We were watching a rugby match the other day. A Grade 2 team was playing against another school. One of the parents was constantly shouting from the side-line at his boy to do this and tackle that one – the poor boy got hurt after a hard fell to the ground and started crying. The parent was yelling at the kid to stop crying and man-up to the others, complaining to the coach – and this in front of all the players and parents watching. I felt so embarrassed for the boy…it has sabotaged his performance.

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Research have shown that sport ‘wanabees’ were the most difficult parents to deal with. These are parents who could not perform on the sports field themselves and now rely on their children to make up for their mistakes. This boy had been pushed, pressed and over-controlled by his dad. I couldn’t help to wonder if this little boy was playing only to please his dad? Is he saying he wants to play because he knows it’s what his dad wants to hear…?

Should we not rather encourage them to pursue their own ambition and focus on our primary role as being mom or dad? We shouldn’t push our children to fulfill the dreams we have never fulfilled. It will not only frustrate us but hurt the child too. Rather give them space to spread their wings and fly a bit.

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Maybe in a few years when the child had matured and gained more confidence to compete, he will take up team sports. Or maybe he enjoys individual sports such as tennis or golf. Or non-sporting activities such as writing, acting or art? We are all different and can excel in many different intelligence's. Shouldn’t stress-free fun be more important in our already stressful lives?

If your child does not enjoy sports, don’t force him to sign up. There’s enough things in life that kids are told they have to do - sports shouldn’t be one of them. Or at least we should start focusing on the things that our children enjoy, does well and provide positive support, even if it isn't something that we would have chosen to do, ourselves.

Tiger Woods said it so well:

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