I had fun with my randomly generated story last week starring our friend the Crustacean King and his friend Phil Parker. This week, our friend Flesh Golem gets lost in Fleshy Forest in a Fairy Tale by @rakkasan84 . This is just for comedy purposes only. Enjoy!

A Fairy Tale

by @rakkasan84

Once upon a time there was a fresh boy called Flesh Golem. He was on the way to see his brother Stone Golem, when he decided to take a short cut through Fleshy Forest.

It wasn't long before Flesh got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Mr. Rock, but Mr. Rock was nowhere to be found! Flesh began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Mr. Rock. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, he saw a hairy goat dressed in a green hat disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Flesh.

For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed goat. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Flesh reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from cabbages, a house made from macaroni, a house made from cheeseburgers and a house made from tacos.

Flesh could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.

"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Flesh looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Flesh a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Mr. Rock!

"Mr. Rock!" shouted Flesh. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give Mr. Rock back!" cried Flesh.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let Mr. Rock out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, three hairy goats rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Flesh recognised the one in the green hat that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.

"Hello Big Goat," said the witch.

"Good morning." The goat noticed Mr. Rock. "Who is this?"

"That's Mr. Rock," explained the witch.

"Ooh! Mr. Rock would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the goat.

The witch shook her head. "Mr. Rock is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Flesh interrupted. "Mr. Rock lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Big Goat ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Goat looked at the house made from tacos and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from tacos if I wanted to."

"That's nothing," said the next goat. "I could eat two houses."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Mr. Rock."

Flesh watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Mr. Rock to Big Goat. He didn't think Mr. Rock would like living with a hairy goat, away from his house and all his other toys.

The other two goats watched while Big Goat put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Goat. "Just you watch!"

Big Goat pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from macaroni. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

Eventually, Big Goat started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of macaroni, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Goat.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Goat never finished eating the front door made from macaroni and Mr. Rock remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Average Goat stepped up, and approached the house made from cheeseburgers.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Goat. "Just you watch!"

Average Goat pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from cheeseburgers. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

After a while, Average Goat started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...

...and greener.

A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not a bush, I'm a goat!" said Average Goat.

"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."

"No! Wait!" cried Average Goat, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the goat away under his arm.

Average Goat never finished eating the front door made from cheeseburgers and Mr. Rock remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Little Goat stepped up, and approached the house made from tacos.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Goat. "Just you watch!"

Little Goat pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from tacos. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

After five or six platefuls, Little Goat started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.

He stopped eating tacos for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.

But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Goat into the sky.

"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Goat. "I'm scared of heigh..."

Little Goat was never seen again.

Little Goat never finished eating the front door made from tacos and Mr. Rock remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Mr. Rock."

"Not so fast," said Flesh. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from cabbages. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the goats. He won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Flesh.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Mr. Rock back."

Flesh ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from cabbages and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.

Flesh sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Flesh. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Flesh's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from cabbages. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Flesh was down to the final piece of the door made from cabbages. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Flesh had eaten the entire front door of the house made from cabbages.

The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Mr. Rock or I will chop your broomstick in half."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Flesh hurried over and grabbed Mr. Rock, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Mr. Rock was unharmed.

Flesh thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Stone. It was starting to get dark.

When Flesh got to Stone's house, his brother threw his arms around him.

"I was so worried!" cried Stone. "You are very late."

As Flesh described his day, he could tell that Stone didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.

"What's that?" asked Stone.

Flesh unwrapped a doorknob made from macaroni. "Pudding!" he said.

Stone almost fell off his chair.

The End