A very proper man!!!

A proper little story idea that came to me on my drive today.

Arnold, has always been very proper. As a child Arnold spoke only when spoken to, he ate his vegetables, he always had a neat and tidy room. Of course he was a scout and rose to the highest ranks a young man could rise to in this country. Every morning in school Arnold recited the oath of allegiance, loyalty and faith. He faithfully attended church on each Sunday and served as an altar boy. Arnold did his homework every night, made good marks in school and treated everyone with kindness and respect. Upon graduation from high school, Arnold got accepted to a respectable college and went off to study. He took his studies very seriously and he didn’t drink or do drugs, he got respectable marks. He met a very nice and proper girl and they of course did not have premarital relationship it would not have been proper.

After graduation, they continued to date until Arnold had a good job and had saved enough to put a down payment on a small and respectable house. They were married several months later and took their honeymoon in Waikiki of course. Six months after being married Arnold’s wife became pregnant, when there child was born they also bought a puppy at the same time. The minivan came along as a matter of course. Their second child arrived exactly two years after the first to complete the picture of a respectable family, one girl and one boy.

Arnold rose over the first years of his job to a very respectable middle management position where he earned a respectable salary. He worked very hard and the family took two lovely one week vacations each year, one to a modest area of the coast, the beach was rocky but it was still the coast. The other week taken around the holidays was of course taken with family, alternating in-laws each year. The children grew to attend the local public schools where Arnold’s wife showed regularly to volunteer and participate in the PTA. Arnold continued to grow in his responsibilities as he dispensed his assignments from the cubicle farm he worked in. He only swore when he and the boys were having a beer. Arnold knew someday, that if he continued to work hard, he’d eventually be promoted into an office. He of course played golf once a week with guys from the office as that is how you develop relationships and get ahead in business.

On the bus each day to work Arnold treated everyone with kindness and respect, it would not be proper to do anything else. He always gave his seat up to women, or the elderly, it wouldn’t be proper to sit while a woman stood. Arnold corrected cashiers when they gave him too much change, he could use the money but it wouldn’t be proper. Everyone around Arnold recognized that he was a very proper man. Arnold also knew he was a proper man, and he would never put someone out or cause them undo mess or problems.

Which is why when Arnold killed himself, knowing that his bowels would loosen, he put on an adult diaper first and hung himself in a hospital restroom nearest to morgue, as to make it easier on the paramedics who would need to move his body. It was a very proper suicide with his note neatly written and residing within his shirt pocket.