To thee who loves me -Day 16 of the steemitschool 100 day writing challenge by @d-pend
As complex constructed creatures we seek patterns in surroundings
searching through our bare components to decipher and find grounding
so I ponder, sit and watch as mind runs in naked bellow
and the pills I will not touch offend doctors, moms and fellows
As I squander borrowed minutes till the full of expiration
my mortality it pouts from its box of indignation
Be more lady, be more saint are the voices that I hear
for my elegance is quaint and my boldness they all fear
Scrubbed the carpet, prepped the scene as my conscience poses clean
yet mere seconds in my nightmares from these notions thee would wean
Yes my features they are pretty and I smell of amber spice
but my brain is an inferno and my closets are a fright
If you help me bury burdens, if you shield me from the sin
if you feed me more than paper and words thrust into the wind
I might tell you that I love you, I might even stay the night
but like madness I just flicker and like birds I’m born to flight
Writing notes:
As I slither toward my 50th Birthday this April there are things I wonder about, and possibilities that come to an end. There are things that I wanted in my life like 12 children and a million grandchildren that just did not happen. I have one daughter, Two grandkids and I helped a ton of street kids but this grand tight knit family, I had in my early childhood and lost, I wanted very much to recreate it. Then there is Love, like every being I do wish for it, it just does not agree with me so I have become flighty and pretty much avoid even the notion of it like the plague. But as I have been sick the past days and that ominous Birthday is out to get me I do think about it now and again …the what ifs buzzzz like pesky fruit-flies or maybe it is just spring hormones as menopause refuses to move in no matter how I have been trying to bribe it :P As is this piece is for some future, parallel universe whatever person who might or might not cross my path.
(Image credit Dave Renike and a portrait of the fair jubilee made by myself turned into this here universal truth meme) 
art courtesy of @PegasusPhysics
