Of Blood and Bones(Day 88)
Down the street
Of blood and bones
Lay a weary stranger
With bags of holes
Down the street
Of blood of bones
Lay a weary heart
Who's lost his home
Down the street
How blood and bones
Sat a lonesome one
Who's lost his own
Who'll help us?
Down the street
Who'll save our hearts
And save it's beat
This is an original poem for the steemit school poetry contest entry.
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this a really good poem that describes so well those streets within so many cities that homeless people and those who are troubled go to. You have done very well in creating vivid images of those people, and it flows really well.
and also in highlighting the fact that so many people do nothing about those in need.
I am wondering in this verse if there was a mistake with using the word how?
Overall I really liked this poem @sammynathaniels, I really like the idea of using poetry to get a message out, especially one that brings awareness to people in need. Well done my friend.
Hi, @sammynathaniels! I love that the refrain goes first in every stanza; in this way, they convey a message to be developed rather than a conclusion, which makes the reader focus on what you elaborate.
Besides, you've been careful to rhyme the second and fourth lines in every stanza along the poem, and the shift in vowel sound for the last one makes it clear fo the reader that the piece is over. Take that plus the fact that its rhythm is mainly trochaic, plus the fact that the final metaphor (heart beat) alludes both to life and music, and you have the beat of music. Sounds like rap to me.
Thanks for sharing this ;-)