What is It That You Desire?

So today's my birthday. To be honest, I wasn't as thrilled as I was before. Back when I was younger, the month before my birthmonth will be filled with excitement plannibg what I would do for myself. Then I'd have a full month during my birthmonth trying to make myself feel special. So self-centered, I know. But what can I do? That was how society trained me to feel about birthdays.

It might be because of old age (or age catching up on me or whatever), for sone reason, I don't feel like doing anything on my birthday. Well, at least nothing too extravagant or loud or booze-filled celebrations.

I actually have celebrated it a couple of minutes ago. I gave myself a nice long bath time, gave myself an uniterrupted coffee time, and watched my favorite series while finishing up my latest crochet project.

When I became a full time stay at home mom, these things became luxury to me. I actually hed to make sure the kid goes to sleep early, all the clothes have been folded, ironed, and put away, the dishes washed and the house cleaned before I started with my luxurious me time.

I just have this guilt inside of me that keeps on nagging whenever I sit down to relax when there are unfinished chores in the house. I guess that's really how it is when you're a mom. But today, I'm not giving in to that guilt. hehe. Because I made sure everything is done before my birthday.

And today, all I desire is to have a good time with the two most important persons in my life. My daughter and my husband. So much for alcohol and food and gifts. Because five years ago, I received my first wish - to be married to the man I love. And three years ago, I was given the one thing I desire most - to become a mom. And I was given a really amazing daughter. Yeah she's witty (a little too witty sometimes) it's like I'm dealing with a smaller version of me every single day. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm not excited about partying on my birthday. Maybe it's because of the thought that I'm getting older. You can say that. I literally just refused an invitation for an all you can eat seafood buffet.

But I think it has something to do with me receiving the things I desire most in life. And right now, all I can think of is making sure I take care of these precious gifts. So yeah. Happy birthday to me.