I'm back, but definitely not better than ever!

It's been three months since my last post. I had a baby! We started a kitchen renovation. Our baby is a gorgeous, sweet, great sleeper of a little girl we call Azélie Florine and everyone who meets her falls instantly in love with her, even though she barfs on a great number of her admirers. Construction is slow and mind-blowingly frustrating. Alas, such is life and we are thankful we can finally do something about the kitchen.

It was not my intention to be gone so long...or at all really... The birth did not go down the way we planned it, but I was happy in the end because I had a fantastic team of midwives, nurses, and our doula who really did empower us/me to make the tough choices about the next best thing to do when the plan didn't work out.

Then we discovered baby had a lip and tongue tie at three weeks old. Weeks of almost daily appointments with a variety of health and wellness professionals ensued. She got back on track and then fell off the track a little bit again and now, maybe, just maybe we know what we're up against. It will change again in a few days, but right at this moment, I feel pretty confident that we are doing what needs to be done.

My mind on the other hand, is wrecked. A barren wasteland of disorganization and forgotten reasons for walking into rooms. I had a really great idea about how I was going to write this post, but since I didn't note it down immediately when it came to me, I'm lucky I remembered the subject of what I wanted to write, let alone the angle I wanted to take.

I can't remember shit. I can't do words. I know there are words for things I want to talk about, but they do not come to me. I did some silly things that baffled me with my first baby, like pour boiling water on my cereal instead of my tea bag, but this is several levels up, or perhaps down the ladder of cognition.

In the time it takes me to place my finger on the biometric thingy that opens up my phone, I almost always forget why I am doing it. After gazing at the screen absentmindedly for a moment, it comes to me: "Ah, yes! my calendar! What is on my calendar for today?"

I have already looked at my calendar twice, but no matter! For the next five minutes, I know what I have to do today. Checking the weather is a whole other exercise in mental focus.

Indeed, I may be losing it, maybe I've already lost it. But I'm happy. Our baby is healthy and thriving. We all love her and our new little family unit to the moon.

I've got it all. What do I need with a functioning brain?